Parents naturally worry about their children. When they are not doing well, we can’t think properly as well. If you have ever found yourself in moments where you just can’t figure out what’s wrong, this episode is for you! Rosie Zilinskas interviews Nichole Hamilton, a Clinical Hypnotherapist who specializes in coaching kids of all ranges, including children on the spectrum. Nichole helps us better understand the nature of our children, figure out ways to empower them, and build a harmonious relationship with them so they can communicate better and feel safe with us. She also breaks down the four main modalities that help in personal development: connect, power, play, and grow. Sharing her story, Nichole then lets us in on her experiences that led her to a life sharing that gift of unconditional love to kids and their families.
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A Kids Coach’s Guide To Empowering Our Children With Nichole HamiltonWelcome back. Have you ever had phases in your life where your children are not doing well, and because they’re not doing well, you can’t think at work? I’ve certainly been there throughout my life, and I’m sure that most parents have too. We’re going to be talking to The Kidz Coach. Nichole Hamilton is going to help us understand the nature of our children better. She’s going to help us figure out ways where you can empower your child so that they can feel safe. She’s also going to teach us some ways in which you can have harmony and communicate better with your children. Nichole Hamilton is a clinical hypnotherapist who specializes in coaching kids of all ranges, including children on the spectrum. Her mission is to help change the way we raise our children by providing a safe space for all emotions and feelings by helping them learn and navigate safe ways of expression. She is passionate about helping others and paying forward her learning and healing to help others like her. She coaches children ages 2 through 18 using many different modalities. She teaches families how to communicate and connect in harmony. This is a very powerful conversation when it comes to how we can help and empower our children. Stay tuned for my conversation with Nichole.
—Nichole, thank you so much for being here. I know you’re The Kidz Coach. One of the things that you are coaching are children anywhere between 2 and 18 years old. What are some of the topics that you coach kids as little as 2 years old, all the way to 18? Let’s start there. Thank you for having me, Rosie. The most common thing that comes up with kids, and when I say kids, I do mean that massive demographic between 2 and 18 is that they have a hard time expressing their emotions. Helping them regulate and feel safe to be able to move through the stages of whatever is coming up in their body, emotions, and behavior is so important. There’s not one simple technique, but it’s that continual providing a safe and nurturing space where kids feel seen and heard, and able to express what’s internally going on. That can be from a tantrum at 2. You know what we typically call a tantrum, or all the way up to an 18-year-old who’s completely shut down and doesn’t even know how to use their voice. It’s that consistency of feeling safe enough to express what’s going on in the body. We’re having this conversation because this show caters to women in the corporate world that are trying to advance in their careers. It’s going to be very difficult for you to think and focus on your career if you have children at home that are having different kinds of problems. I heard you say a couple of key things that I want to go back to. You said to regulate their emotions, and then the second thing was feeling safe. I want to unpack those two things a little bit because it’s so important for children to be able to figure out how to regulate their emotions. Let’s talk about what that even means first, and then we’ll talk about the second piece, which is feeling safe. What does regulating emotions mean and how do you deal with that? Regulating emotions is about not having emotions pegged as good or bad. There are no good or bad emotions, there are just feelings. Those feelings get stored in the body. They happen from a very young age, and the body remembers that. Being able to move through those emotions and express them in whatever way seems safe and fit means that we can behave and function in a higher capacity. We’ve all been triggered at times and had an emotional reaction. Sometimes we’re actually out of control of our bodies. We don’t know how to control our anger, upset, heartbreak, or whatever else. That stems back from a very young age. Not only do I say this when I’m teaching the kids, but I am also teaching the mothers and the parents to model this behavior. I’m 42. This is something that I’ve learned through personal development. It’s not taught in our schools. Our parents didn’t know and didn’t represent that. It’s something that we’ve had to go and learn. As you said, I can’t function as a mom if my family is not functioning. I can’t be working in my business if it’s not going well there. The first step is asking for help, so I did that. Every time I learned something in a personal development area, I brought that home back to my kids. It’s the language that I use, the way that I behave, me being able to express my tears, primal screaming, breathing, and dance parties. There are so many different ways of emotional regulation techniques. It’s recognizing that my two-year-old that I have is going through those processes now like throwing toys or crying on the floor. That’s perfect if I can hold space for her and not shut her down. Not say, “Off you go, that’s enough,” or those types of things, which can be very damaging if they heard it again and again. I didn’t know that when I parented my two older children. This emotional regulation can be as simple as getting on the floor, crying with them, making some noises, and making it okay to express. I read a book recently about fear. One of the things that we know about especially young girls, their confidence peaks at age nine. A lot of that has to do with the fear of being judged. They’re starting puberty, so how they look and how they’re accepted. One of the things that this author said is that as parents, we are trying so desperately for our kids to be okay. We’re like, “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Don’t be afraid.” This author says that we should be doing the opposite and say, “Fear is a normal emotion and it’s okay to feel fear.” Do you find the same thing in your practice with young kids? A hundred percent. For instance, my daughter Aurora has a meltdown. Instead of saying, “You’re okay, off you go. It’ll be all right,” I’ll be like, “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, but we still need to put our shoes on and go to school. You can cry with me.” Maybe I might give her choices whether she wants a hug or something else, but allowing that, “It’s okay to be angry right now. I did take that toy off you,” but expressing it in different ways. In my early twenties when I had my other kids, I would’ve just been like, “That’s enough. Stop that. I’m taking it away.” Whereas now I’ll say, “It wasn’t safe. My boundary is I’m taking this for later. You’re okay to be mad with me. I’ll come back to you.” The language is different. That is a huge part of being able to hold space, but I couldn’t even speak that way if I didn’t continually work on myself or if I didn’t continually be able to have the capacity. Even though I am a kid’s coach, which I absolutely love, it does come into family therapy. Teaching the way of positive language is so powerful. As you said, those nine-year-old girls that are going through that have to have role models that can say to them, “You are perfect the way you are. You don’t need to people please.” They don’t need to play the games that do happen in a society that they learn at a young age. Having that for me is like I needed that person when I was 7 or 9. I needed to feel seen and heard and loved unconditionally, not just from my family. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping families and kids in these situations because it doesn’t even matter how good the parent is. The parent can be the best in the world. It takes a community to help raise beautiful, integrated, vulnerable, and deeply connected humans. That’s what my passion is. It’s to help change the trajectory of what’s going on. “It actually takes a community to help raise beautiful, integrated, vulnerable, and deeply-connected humans.” – Nichole Hamilton Click To Tweet You touched on my second original question a little bit, which is feeling safe. When a child doesn’t feel safe, they’re not going to be able to talk to you or even allow you to talk to them so they can listen. When we say feeling safe, what is it that we’re looking for the kids? How do they feel safe? What does that mean? That’s a good question because every single person is completely different in their safety. There is somewhere within their actual physical body that they will find a place of safety. It’s using that anchoring kind of wording. If you do have a child with anxiety or having an overwhelm or when you see that they’re in a situation where they are safe, playing, happy, and proud of something or whatever else, it’s using that language and saying, “I can see that you’re happy and feeling good right now. Where do you feel that in your body? Do you have a safe space?” Anchoring in that language so that they can feel their emotions. When we’re in overwhelm, anxious, or in stress, we don’t know where that is. When I work with kids, the first thing I do to help them feel safe is let them interview me. It’s the same with all my kid’s coaches. We never say, “You are working with me. Your mom wants me. Your dad wants this.” Whether it’s a two-year-old, I’ll have a few toys and I’ll get on the floor and play and use my energies. When they come to you, they feel safe. They’ll show you the way. They can’t use their words if they’re non-verbal. When they’re older and they can articulate, I give them the opportunity to feel safe because it’s up to them to choose. That’s the best part. It’s the connection and letting them choose you, and then you can do anything with them. You can ride a bike, go to the park, primal scream, talk in the chair, and have a deep and meaningful conversation. The key is giving a choice when you can to empower a child and that’ll make them feel safe because internally, they’re not being told anything. There’s no rejection. It’s their choice. That’s a big part of what me and my kids coaches do. It is the connect and empower part. You said something so key there, “To give them the choice.” I imagine you might have some kids where their parents are “making them meet you or making them be in therapy.” How do you get those kids that are there not by choice to feel comfortable? They need to figure out how to trust you. How do you do that piece? I 100% get out of my head and into my heart. I’m like, “I just want this kid to feel loved and safe and feel like they can bring me anything.” The beautiful part of being a kids coach as well is that I do have my own business and I can be as extroverted, silly, and crazy. I have talked to the parents. They do know me. They know my personal story. Depending on the age, I can connect with a child by telling them something. I’ve had kids that when I do Zooms, they don’t even want to see my face. I’m like, “You can just listen to me. It’s okay.” I’ve had kids that don’t want to come in my door and I have to edge them in. What I do is give them that freedom and say, “I’m so proud of you for being here. Isn’t your parents a good person? They’re trying to help you. Can I tell you some stuff about me?” I’ll talk to them about what I’ve been through. Maybe I’ve had anxiety. I say, “You don’t have to work for me. This is all about you. You get to interview me.” Some of them don’t know what an interview is. “You get to pick me. I can tell you anything. Do you have any questions?” I keep playing that game until they feel comfortable telling me something. A hundred percent of the time, they pick me because I am so invested in them. I tell them, “If I’m not the right person, I will find you someone better. It’s okay. If you want a guy or you want somebody else, I promise I will get you the help you need. I have no attachment.” That’s the biggest thing. I don’t expect them to walk into my office, “Here’s your money, and let’s do the session,” because I need that yes. When I get that yes, we can do anything. That’s the big thing as well. That empowerment piece, hands down, is the biggest thing. That free consultation, working with them, playing with them, or whatever that looks like in a session is so important. Because I’ve gained that trust and they can see that, then we can do anything, then I get through. Before the Zoom is finished, kids are whispering in their mom’s ear, “I want to work with her. I don’t want to leave.” It’s that part of it or that investment. I do give free half an hour of my time off to make that happen. That is the key to feeling safe with somebody else. Because it is my heart’s desire and it is my true passion to work with these kids and have that deep connection, they feel that. It’s the integrity that’s behind it as well. I know you use four main modalities, which are connect, power, play, and grow. Those are some of the things that you’ve already talked about. How then do you teach the parents to use these different types of modalities so that they can take those teachings back home, and then be more effective parents like you have throughout your personal development? Depending on how the situation goes, some parents come to me and they’ve got personal development skills. They’re just not working for them. Some don’t have any. I often give a lot of resources, free videos, or different things that they can play and integrate at home. The parent is always very welcome to stay if the child is anxious and in need. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they open up more if the parents are not there. If the child opens up more or if it’s a teenager, I obviously have confidentiality. I always ask, “This is big. We are working on.” I will always ask at the end of a session, “Can we tell mom, dad, or the parents the breakthrough or the thing that has been good for you?” Most of the time, they’ll say yes. I won’t have to go into detail. I’ll say, “We worked on happiness or confidence today. These are the words or the play that I want you to do.” I might set a little bit of home play where, “Can you tell mom when you see her being confident this week? Can you actually tell her?” Integrating into little pieces of positive language makes a big difference. Any resources that I have, any charts or energetics, I always spend that little bit of time gifting that to the parent as well so that they can bring it home into their place. The majority of the time though, a mom will want a session herself. A mom will want to pick my brain and work with me in other modalities or places. That makes sense because if a parent is bringing a child to you for coaching because they need help, they’re going to want to be able to help their child too. They’re going to want to know how can they support the child or how can they help them. I’m glad that you’re able to provide those resources for the parents as well. I’m curious about why those modalities specifically. You’ve been doing training and personal development. Did you identify these modalities yourself or did someone else help you identify those particular modalities? I’ve studied a lot of different modalities over time. It’s something that intuitively came to me. That connection and empowerment piece is so important. I even work with that with an adult. If an adult wants to work with me, I still do the connect and empower. They interview me differently. It doesn’t matter about the money, but that yes is a big thing. The play part is having fun in the learning. It doesn’t have to look like sitting down and talking about things. We can have dance parties, breathwork, ice baths, conversation, and meditation. We can move. I do pole dancing as well. It doesn’t have that play part. It’s the place where we get to think outside the box. It doesn’t always have to look like a therapy session. I guess that’s why I have a lot of fun with kids because I have no agenda. It could be chalk on the sidewalk and drawing around a person. It can be making TikToks with the trendy ones because that’s what they want to do, and putting music to it and being silly. That part is the fun part. Therapy doesn’t have to look like therapy if that makes sense. The grow part is that I’m continuing to grow and they continue to grow. They teach me and it’s an open part of that growth, and having no attachment to where that goes. Everybody is perfect where they are. What they bring up in their session is going to be perfect for their growth. Having those concepts for me makes such an open and intuitive place to play with kids, which they pick up on and they get. I’m using the other modalities that I’ve learned over time, but those four parts of it can be used in anything. They can be used for taking a kid to the park. That connect, empower, using some positive language, and then growing their strength could be used fully sitting back into a chair and going into a deep inner child healing. Those parts of it are the four categories that I most connect to every single session. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It’s interesting because once in a while when I go to dinner, I’ll see a family with small children. One thing I’ve noticed is the children have iPads plopped in front of them while the parents are eating. Sometimes the parents are even on their phones too. I feel so much compassion for parents these days because, with all the technology, it’s like the toys that used to entertain kids 50 years ago are no longer entertaining kids because they want the phone. They want the technology. What are some things that you recommend for parents to try to get back to that play, and try to get away from the technology as much? I try and have technology-free time. We have days with the kids where they just get up. There’s no getting onto the phone or onto the gaming, the older ones as well. If we can get out and have connection time, that’s important. I noticed with my older ones, my teens are probably a perfect example, there are days that they’re straight onto their technology, they don’t want to get out of there, they don’t want to connect, or they don’t want to communicate. You get them up and out and you’re out in nature or you’re doing something connective like going for a brunch with friends. The conversations and the connections are so important. There’s no point in me saying, “Let’s go,” and I’m still working on my phone, which I’ve been guilty of. That is not a quality connection. When I’m fully connected, I have to be mindful of my stuff and say, “I’m putting it on flight mode. I’m just going to take photos today.” Being with them is so important. Noticing that our stress levels are also overstimulated. Because of the technology in the world that we live in, that is being passed down generations to our children. It’s having an awareness. We can’t change where we are, but it’s knowing that there are some beautiful free things to do to then integrate back into that regulation. We are operating on that higher frequency of overwhelm and make sure that we have time for genuine human connection outdoors because that will completely change our nervous system. Those are some of the things that I do. I love my ice bath and breathwork and different things as well. My kids will join me on those. Outdoors are probably the easiest ones. Having some technology-free time and starting straight away. There’s no point trying to do it in the middle of the day. If the kids already started on it, it’s very hard. You talked a little bit about confidence with those young girls, and then pointing out to the parent that they’re acting confidently. What are some things that you can talk to us about, maybe an example or two from some of your clients that you have been talking to, about confidence for those young girls? What are some things that parents can do to reinforce that confidence or to hone that confidence? If confidence peaks at age nine, which I learned through some research, that’s such a shame. I know that there are things that parents can do to help abate some of that. What are some things that you recommend? The first thing that I recommend, and this is for our mama bears out there, is to be aware of the way that you speak to yourself. I’m guilty of it. If we’re like, “I don’t like my hair today. I’m so fat. I’ve put on weight. This doesn’t fit me. I’m so stupid, I forgot this,” that is integrating into their language and their beliefs. We might not be aware of it. Sometimes we are mean girls to ourselves. It’s modeling that behavior of that confidence. It doesn’t matter what we tell our child, we have to embody it. Those are the things that I’m confident about myself. It’s trying. Let’s say you’ve already got a nine-year-old girl and you’re like, “Crap, I’ve been doing that my whole life.” It’s not too late. It’s just having that unpacking conversation and saying, “I’m aware that you are thinking or feeling this. I used to too. Now I’m going to go ask for some help or maybe we could watch a podcast or listen to this.” Showing your children that you are not perfect as well and asking for help is the biggest role model thing that you can do for their confidence. They’re like, “My mom or dad is owning it. They’re asking for help, and they’ve noticed what I’m going through.” “Showing your children that you are not perfect and asking for help is the biggest role model thing you can do for their confidence.” – Nichole Hamilton Click To Tweet They’re the biggest things that I found with my children that make the biggest impact on having that beautiful open connected communication. We didn’t have to have it right all the time. That honesty about that helps them come back to feel safe. The confidence in going, “If mom doesn’t know I can ask.” We can get it somewhere else. There’s somewhere out there that we’re going to learn from. It’s so critically important for us to own our own confidence, We can’t go and help others when our confidence is not where it should be. You’ve also said this a couple of times. We’re perfect just as we are. We’re exactly where we’re supposed to be. Awareness is the first thing and knowing that you need to work on your confidence, and then you can start figuring out, “How am I talking to myself today? I wouldn’t want my child to be talking to themselves the way I’m talking to myself.” That’s very key right there. I know that your superpower is unconditional love and your passion for helping others. How did you figure out that unconditional love was your superpower? I guess I can’t describe it. It’s a feeling that I have. I have a very big capacity to hold space for a lot of people all at once with so many variants of love from intimate love to my own children, my friends, my clients that I do love as well, and the kids that I work with. It’s a feeling and an energy that I have. It doesn’t matter what I go through in life and it doesn’t matter who has hurt me, I still have a love for them. I honestly can say that. I know in my soul that that is one of my absolute powers. It is to be able to love people and truly see them even in pain, heartache, and hurt times, even if it’s back toward me. That has taken me on a big journey. That’s why people connect with me so easily because what you see is what you get. I’m raw and real. My heart is so genuine that it gets me through my mission. That’s beautiful. I can feel that. I can tell right away that you’re very passionate about the work that you’re doing. I’d like to get into your story a little bit. I know you’ve had traumas in your life, and you’ve had a hard journey to get to where you are now. How did you get to where you are now knowing that you had so much trauma? You’re doing well now, but it wasn’t always like that, to becoming a kids’ coach specifically with children. Tell me a little bit about your story. That’s a good place to start. I had a pretty good childhood. We all have things that we remember from our childhood that hurt, confused, or scared us. My parents are still together. They’re amazing people. They’ve raised me well. I got bullied in school, people pleased a little, felt lonely, and that type of thing. I met my ex-husband very young, 16, 17. For whatever reason, we got into drugs. There was a party scene. I was on and off sober when I had my children. Hand on my heart, I can say that. When I turned 30, we turned to ice as we call it here. It’s methamphetamines. It’s a smokable version. It’s gross and yucky. I was a functioning addict for a very long time. Behind closed doors, I was not coping. I was losing my mind. I was spending a lot of money on it every single day. I knew deep down that I wanted to change that. I did have that part of me. I didn’t pay my mortgage. I didn’t steal from anybody. I don’t believe it ate my soul, but it did change me. I did have young kids. They didn’t see me do drugs, but they would’ve energetically felt that I was not there. I remember one year wrapping Christmas presents and smoking this drug and thinking, “I don’t want to be doing this.” Fast forward another year. I remember doing the exact same thing on Christmas Eve again. I had reached out. I’d gone to drug and alcohol counseling. I had been to psychologists. One psychologist, bless her heart, was very young and straight out of uni. She dropped her jaw as I told her my life story and what I was going through. She leaned back in her chair. I just knew she didn’t have the life experience to help me. She was way out of her comfort zone, and nothing worked. I’d get sober for a little bit and nothing worked. By chance, one day, I met this holistic healer who was a hypnotherapist. I knew I needed to work with that person. I didn’t tell him that I was smoking drugs. I told him I was smoking and I needed to quit. In this one session that after admitting out loud to my mom that I was struggling, she thought I was bipolar. I had this session and I had the breakthrough. I had the epiphany. I was like, “I could spend my life taking drugs and being with my ex-husband, or I can have a life of sobriety and be with my children,” and that is the road I picked. I felt that click. That gave me the strength, and knowing that inside, we have everything we need, we just need a person to hold space for us. It then led to ten years of training. “We have everything we need inside. We just need a person to hold space for us.” – Nichole Hamilton Click To Tweet It wasn’t easy. I went through withdrawals, depression, anxiety, and not being able to cope with mental health issues. Slowly, bit by bit, I continued to show up and ask for help and have different coaches. I went through NLP. I’m not sure if your audience knows what Neuro-Linguistic Programming is, but it’s the language that we use inside our internal representation. I was like, “Another epiphany. I know why I chose to self-sabotage. I know why I went through my addiction. It’s so I can talk about that.” It’s such a dirty thing. People don’t want to talk about addiction but I’ve been through it and I found a different way to get sober. I honestly thought I’d work with drug addicts and other people in that loop, and I did. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients. I learned and I’ve got my qualifications in that. Every time I went and learned another modality, I was like, “This is for kids. Why are we not making this a game for kids? Why are we not using color therapy, play, mind maps, and moving through emotions?” I got a name to work with kids. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I made up these games. Through case studies and client after client, it worked. I made some other choices. I went and worked in the prisons and the education system. I got my disability and youth work qualifications, so I’ve continued to do that work. Working with my own coach nearly two years ago, I decided this is where my energy needed to go. This is what lights me up. I could cry with happiness when we were talking about that connecting power. When a kid picks me up, my whole nervous system lights up. I just cry in that unconditional world. It’s a full body yes. I know that this is my life’s work and I want to be on this world stage. To the audience, I want to talk about it more and be the Tony Robbins on the world stage talking about kids coaching, holistic healing, and personal development for our kids. I don’t know if I had somebody like me at 7 to 15 or 20 even, whether I would’ve made the same choices, but I can talk about my journey and know that I’ve lived it. I continue to work on myself. I’m not perfect, but that in itself gives our kids hope and gives our other families hope in what’s going on in their four walls. There’s no judgment. We can do better. We can all learn and grow. It’s been a powerful journey for me. I’m so blessed that the Universe and God have my back through this. I believe that I’ve been through what I’ve been through to share the gift of teaching. That is such a beautiful story. I can picture you wrapping gifts that second Christmas and you’re like, “I’m still doing the same thing.” I have heard of NLP or Neuro-Linguistics Programming. I haven’t done it myself but I know many people that swear by NLP. I’m so glad that you were able to now be that kids coach and it’s a beautiful story. All of your experiences and everything that you went through in your life has brought you to where you are now to share that unconditional love, that gift that you have of playing with kids and teaching them. You’re absolutely right. Kids are our future. We should be focusing on our kids. Maybe we would have fewer screwed-up adults. I went looking in my 30s and I’m 42 now. I’m still looking and still learning. It only dropped in on me 6 or 7 months ago. I knew I wanted to work with kids, but I did a deep inner child healing. I’m now the person that my seven-year-old needed when she was lonely and sad. It’s not that my parents were doing anything bad. We changed schools and I didn’t tell them about it. They didn’t know. They’re busy working. If I was that person for her in my teenage years when I was bullied and lonely and making the start of poor choices, having another person to hear me, learning boundaries and consent, and expressing emotions is so important. It’s so interesting because all of our life experiences are what we have now. As coaches, you and I have drawn from that to teach others. I went through a seminar called Landmark Education in 2007 or 2008. I was going through a bad divorce at the time. It is incredible what you can do when you start looking for answers, and when you start trying to figure out why you act the way you act. That seminar talks a lot about you are how you are because of three main events that happen as a kid. You can usually point to those three events that happen and you’re like, “No wonder why you’re an accountant. No wonder why you’re a statistician.” It is very incredible how it all boils down to a few things that happen in your childhood. As you said, you could have great parents but regardless of who you are, there are always going to be those few things that could be one little sentence and that make your whole existence function the way you are. I do agree with that. That inner child work. For any adult out there, look into that. Inner child work is so profound to go back and do your healing because you can change anything now. I’m so passionate about being that person for the children. Why do inner child work when you’re 30, 40, or 50 if I can be helping them or other people can be helping them while they’re going through it? I know that you have a 5 Day Kidz Coaching course. Tell me a little bit about your free coaching course for parents. I know that sometimes it’s not attainable for people to get a coach or whatever. I don’t want it to always be Nichole marketing herself. I wanted to put some free content out there. I’ve got five videos of free ideas to use with kids from 2 to 18 in positive language play. There’s also a free meditation at the end for parents to fill their cups because that’s the most thing as well. When a parent goes looking, it’s normally because they’re like, “I don’t know how to deal with this anymore.” In the lack, there are issues here in Australia, especially with education and medical. If I can give you five little videos of tips and helpful and positivity, that’s my gift. I will give that to your audience as well. Follows that link. It’s beautiful, and I always do free content on all my socials as well. That’s wonderful. Nichole, you’ve already given us a lot of good information. Are there maybe two actionable tips that you want to leave our parents with, especially those moms that are working in the corporate world that they can use with those little kids that they have at home to get that connection? One that does come up a lot with disconnect is eye gazing. This can be used from a young age, probably 2 to 3 years, all the way up. We’ve got kids and my son is on the spectrum. This is sometimes tough for people. It’s hard to do sometimes with yourself. Eye gazing with your child and breathing can be a part of connection and love. If you’ve got a two-year-old who’s having meltdowns, tantrums, etc., get into things like, “Let’s play a game. Let’s breathe in for three while we look at each other and then breathe out for three.” When they’re older it’s saying, “Can you look at me for a minute?” Just sending your teenager or child love. Sometimes they don’t even need words, but that eye gaze and connection piece is the energy of bringing it back in. That’s a beautiful connected piece. I do it with mama bears with their teenagers here, just sending love to each other. Eye gazing is so powerful. If you set it from a young age, it becomes a game, “Mom needs a little eye. Let’s play our eye game.” You can blink with it or laugh with it or add colors to it or positive language. It can be as simple as breathing and eye gazing. It is a beautiful way to connect. The other thing that I use for a tip that is external is I love smells. I don’t know if any of you uses love smells, but I went through a divorce as well. I found that when my children came back, and this could be from kids going to school or ratty behavior, I put oil. I’d pick an essential oil and as they came back in the house, I would put that essential oil on and I’d put it on the back of the neck or on the kids as well. It instantly connects the whole family back into one frequency. Having an essential oil or a mist spray or something like that where you are all back in the same frequency can connect a home. I am all about smell, so I do use Palo Santo instead of Sage in my home. That grounds and brings calm energy about. I do love that as well. Those are some of the tips that I find that the frequency shifts instantly. I love the eye gazing one because you can go all the way down to even babies. Usually, babies look at your eyes. My kids are growing and they’re out of the house, but sometimes my husband and I are busy and we don’t see each other. We both work from home. Just taking 10 to 15 seconds to look into each other’s eyes makes such a difference. I feel that connection. I can see where the eye-gazing is a good tip. Thank you for those two fantastic tips. You have provided us with such great information, and the modalities. The connect, power, play, and grow, I love that. I think that those modalities boiled down to how parents can truly connect in easy ways with their kids. If they need some additional help, you’re always there to help them as well. I’ll put all my links and different things in here. My main thing is I do work with kids, but it’s teaching others to be able to do this as well. My main mission is that we want a world full of kids coaches in this personal development area. You don’t have to have a specific set of qualifications to be that role model for a kid. It could be a beautiful masculine energy like taking somebody that doesn’t have a masculine in their home out to the playgrounds. I’m always looking to inspire other kids coaches. My main mission in the world is to inspire a world full of integrated people that want to help our youth. That makes sense to have more coaches like you teaching those kids and trying to get them through their childhood with the least damage possible. We’re always going to have those scars. We’re always going to be damaged as we grow up. No matter how good of a parent you are, there are always going to be things that happen in the child’s life that you can’t help or prevent. I think Gabrielle Bernstein goes on little Ts and big Ts. You can have little traumas and big traumas. We’re all going to have them, but having somebody outside of your network to call upon, and to be able to navigate through that with your family, with the parent, and with the child is so important. It makes that journey so much more so we’re not storing it, and not working or learning from it. I like the little Ts. I’ve also heard of it like little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. Nichole, I’m going to give you the opportunity to provide us with one final thought on everything that we’ve been talking about. Can you leave our audience with one final thought that comes to you with your intuition? Every single one of you has everything you need inside of you. It’s taking that time to connect. My biggest thing would be if your audience could take a second and put their hand on their heart, and see what their heart wants to tell them today. It’s getting out of your head. That is so important. We have everything we need inside of us. Sometimes it’s just having another guide to help us find that. Every single one of you has everything you already need. Thank you so much, Nichole, for all of your time, wisdom, and expertise. I appreciate you so much. Thank you so much, Rosie. It’s been easy. It’s been a blessing. Thank you. Thank you.
—One of the reasons why I invited Nichole onto the show is because when we are busy working moms, it’s hard to focus on work when our children are sick or they’re having issues, whether they’re physical issues or mental health issues. Nichole gave us some good ideas on how to reconnect with our children as young as two years old. She gave us a couple of good tips to help us reconnect. Tip number one is to do some eye gazing. You can get down on the floor and make it a game for your young children. You can look into their eyes and say, “I need to look into your eyes. Let’s do a game. Let’s breathe together while we look into each other’s eyes.” That helps reconnect, and you are giving them love by looking into their eyes. They feel like you are giving them that undivided attention. When you have those older kids, you can say, “Can you please look at me?” By looking at them, you’re sending them love. You’re able to bring that connection and make them feel special that you’re talking to look into their eyes even if it’s one minute. Years ago, I did a seminar and one of the exercises that we did was stare into another person’s eyes. They partnered us up with another person. You stare into their eyes for one full minute. It’s like two universes colliding. We’ve said so much without saying one word, just by eye gazing into each other’s eyes. Tip number two, Nichole uses essential oils in her home. One of the things that she said is as her kids are coming home, she’ll rub a little bit of essential oil on her hand and put it in the back of her kids’ necks. That helps to instantly connect the whole family and put everyone into one frequency. It grounds the family and calms the energy down so that everybody is at the same frequency. Those are fantastic very easy tips that you can incorporate into kids of any age as young as eighteen months when they’re aware of what’s happening in their world. I hope this was helpful to you. I enjoyed my conversation with Nichole. With that, remember to be brave, be bold, and take action.