No Woman Left Behind | Roberta Fernandez | AHARA

 

Ready to take the fast lane in your career but feeling unsure where you stand? In this episode, Rosie Zilinskas sits down with guest Roberta Fernandez to explore how limiting beliefs and subconscious barriers may be holding you back from what you truly want. Roberta is an experienced corporate trainer, an engaging public speaker, an Integrative Emotional Intelligence Specialist, and a Board-Certified Hypnotist. She shares powerful strategies to build self-awareness, align your thoughts and emotions, and ultimately break through career roadblocks. Plus, discover her transformative AHARA program, crafted to guide women from feeling stuck to soaring in their professional journeys. Take notes—this episode is your next step to unlocking your potential and redefining success on your own terms.

 

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AHARA: A Journey To Higher Awareness And Career Fulfillment With Roberta Fernandez

Welcome back to yet another episode of the show. I’m thrilled to be joined by Roberta Fernandez. Roberta is an experienced corporate trainer, an engaged public speaker, and an integrative emotional intelligence specialist. She holds a master practitioner certification in NLP, which is Neurolinguistics Programming and is a board-certified hypnotist. Roberta has an incredible depth of experience in helping women unlock their potential.

 

We’re diving deep into some transformative topics that I’m sure will resonate with you. In this episode, Roberta and I were discussing two powerful ideas. First, the challenge she poses to women to understand what they want, a question that is surprisingly difficult and many women struggle to answer. We’re also going to explore her unique AHARA program. This is a year-long journey designed to elevate your self-awareness and realization of your true abilities.

 

Trust me, you don’t want to miss this conversation because Roberta is that good. If you are feeling stuck in your career or want to gain some new insights into personal growth, this is the episode for you. Grab your favorite drink, your coffee, Dunkin’ Donuts, Starbucks, or whatever it is. Get comfortable and let’s dive right in.

 

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Roberta, thank you so much for joining me. You are an expert in many things. You’re a personal and professional development consultant. You and I were chatting and you mentioned that you do this exercise or this challenge where you ask women what they want. There’s a specific answer that you typically get. Tell me about that.

 

What Do You Want?

I do ask people what they want, and it is amazing how many people don’t know what they want. There isn’t a general rule of thumb, except to say people will sit there and be quiet because they’re never asked that question. When we’re asked that question, it’s usually pretty broad. It’s not specific. You and I work with women who we’re helping advance in their careers and become more successful. When you ask them that pinpointed question, most of the people who I present that to don’t have an answer. Therein lies the problem.

 

Why do you think that happens when you ask a woman? What you had mentioned to me was to set an alarm clock throughout the day and do this for several days. When that alarm clock goes off, ask yourself what you are feeling and thinking. That is what you said. It’s hard to do. Tell me, why is that so hard?

 

It’s because the brain automates everything. Our brain is so complex. There are so many neurons firing at one time that the way it maintains efficiency is to create habitual responses. When we do something once or twice, we form a habit and we don’t think about it anymore. In this society, I didn’t notice this so much with clients who are very old. They have a bit more awareness than people. Our lives are so busy that we automate everything. We don’t take the time to stop and reflect on what’s happening in our day-to-day lives.

 

I moved to a new area. I moved from Minneapolis to Las Vegas. There’s so much snow in the mountains. It is spectacular here. I’m driving to work and I’m looking around at other people in the cars. I can tell you that none of them were looking at the snow. We become oblivious to everything that’s around us. One of the things that I work with women to do is to make them aware.

 

The exercise that you have mentioned sounds very simplistic but it is very hard to do. That would be my challenge to your audience. Set a random alarm for every hour. Not at the same time, but randomly during the hour. When it goes off, write down what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. You’re going to find this is much harder than what you expect.

 

The reason why I ask them is to help them build awareness of their everyday thoughts. The reason why it’s important to note what they are is that your feelings and your thoughts should be congruent. Many times, when we’re experiencing challenges in our life or there’s something we know we want but we’re not getting, it’s because subconsciously, we don’t think that we’re worthy of it or we don’t think we’re capable of it even though we consciously want it. Things like imposter syndrome or limiting beliefs get in the way of not only accomplishing things but even knowing what we want.

 

I was thinking about what you were saying as far as being in the moment and reflecting on what you think and what you feel. I typically do some kind of either journaling or gratitude journaling. I usually try to do five things that I’m grateful for. My morning coffee is amazing but sometimes I do have to sit there and be like, “What am I grateful for?” I put, “The sun is shiny,” because we’re in Chicago and it’s been very gloomy here with the winter. The other thing is how my face cream feels as I’m putting it on. I’m trying to be more in the present moment and reflective. It is very hard to do when you’re not doing it intentionally. I couldn’t agree more.

 

AHARA

We are all so busy. Your work is so important. I know we’re going to talk about AHARA, which is a very unique program that you have. Can you explain how AHARA will impact women in the corporate world that are busy? I cater to women who are feeling more stuck in their corporate careers. They’re trying to move up that corporate ladder and doing things but they’re not getting any traction. Tell me a little bit about the AHARA program.

 

AHARA stands for A Higher Awareness and Realization of your Abilities. It’s combining what I said and what you’ve said. You can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t know where you want to go. AHARA approaches that very differently. It is a year-long process that isn’t like a course that you would take. It is a process where we start introducing new concepts to stretch our way of thinking and develop our awareness of initially what’s out and around us.

 

We live in this sea of perspectives that can get in the way of women. Men hold different perspectives than women do. All of that’s very complicated. To get to where we want to go, we have to be aware of what we want and then take a look at everything around us that might be standing in our way or might be able to help propel us in the direction that we want to go. If we don’t have that awareness first, we can’t get there.

 

The first step is awareness and looking at how we’re functioning in the world and how we can make improvements on that. We’re focusing on changing the way we think and the way we problem-solve. The program, once we introduce these concepts, goes into looking at the self. That’s our self-esteem, our self-awareness, all of our self-realization, and all the aspects of ourselves, how that relates to those other perspectives, how we can still be true to ourselves, what we want, and then get what we want.

 

You and I talked a little bit about this. It’s important to bring it up. Women function so differently than men. I was working with somebody. I know you write resumes, which is amazing because that is not a skill I possess. I’ve been an entrepreneur for 45 years so I haven’t had to develop that skill. Somebody asked me for my resume and I thought, “I don’t even have one.” I’ve never had to write one. I thought, “I should put something together.” When I sat down to do it, I said, “I’m not even going there.”

 

The reason why this came up with this person is that they were applying for jobs and they were saying, “I don’t meet that criteria.” I looked at her and said, “So what? You have the skills, maybe not just in the way they’re framing it.” Here’s the other thing. When people put out a job description, they’re looking for the ideal candidate. That does not exist anywhere. No one ticks all the boxes, but a guy or a man would tick all those boxes whether he had them or not. My philosophy has always been to say yes and figure it out later. Very seldom it gets me into trouble. Occasionally, it does, but then I find other women like you and ask for help.

 

To your point on what you said, I always tell people to do that, but also, don’t discount yourself. Apply for the job and have someone else make that decision because then you are holding yourself back. I love everything that you’re saying as far as awareness. What’s the next step in the program then?

 

The next step in the program is developing that self-awareness by, first of all, understanding yourself. That’s another thing that we don’t do. We don’t look at, “What is my limiting belief?” In many cases, there are many of them. Where does that stem from? That’s my wheelhouse. My specialty is to dive deep into that. What I find is that these are all beliefs that have been given to us. They’re not ours. They came from our parents, our teachers, our ministers, television, magazines, and books we’ve read. None of it belongs to us.

 

I know it sounds simple on the surface, but when you start thinking about how we were influenced at such a young age when our brains were not developed enough to have the logical capacity to say, “That’s not true,” we build on those things. Those things get reinforced over our whole life and they become a habitual way of thinking. Until we have an awareness of how and what we’re thinking, we can’t possibly change that. This idea of a higher awareness is essential to develop and realize your abilities.

No Woman Left Behind | Roberta Fernandez | AHARA
AHARA: Until we have the awareness of how and what we’re thinking, you can’t possibly change that.

 

Also, along those lines from what you were saying, I did some research. Psychologist Robin F. Goodman did a study and discovered that girls’ confidence peaks at age nine. What you were saying is our brains at nine years old are not developed. If your confidence is stunted at nine and then you add on all of the beliefs that you’re inheriting or that people are giving to you, then no wonder why when women go into the corporate space or the workforce in general, they’re not able to come in with massive confidence. They’re not able to come in and articulate their worth. All of this makes a lot of sense to me. Can you maybe showcase how AHARA works in a story format, like one of your clients that has gone through the program and any breakthroughs that they’ve had?

 

I’ll give you a good example. One of the first women to go through AHARA had come to me. She was very successful and was pretty bored with what she was doing. At least that was her perception at the time. That was her limited awareness. She felt like, “I want to do something else. I feel like I’ve conquered this. I’ve done it. It’s time to move on,” but she had no idea what she wanted to do.

 

Through that AHARA process, it’s interesting because we focus very much on the personal and then relate to how that applies to our professional lives. Typically, as it is with women more than men, her focus is on family. She was like, “How do I take these concepts?” She had two young children. She was like, “How do I implement that?” It was interesting to see it shift into the professional.

 

She came to me with no idea of what she wanted to do, and this is also not uncommon. If we’re not aware and we don’t know what we want, how can we have a roadmap to where we’re going to go? I said to her, and this is what I would say to everybody, “You may not know the solution, but what you do know is how you want to feel when you get there.” It is critical. Here’s what I’ve come to believe. There is nothing in this world that we want for any other reason than this. I don’t care if it’s a car, a promotion, or whatever it is. We want what we want because we believe we will feel better when we have it.

“We want what we want because we believe we will feel better when we have it.” – Roberta Fernandez Share on X

This is where I’m talking about a different way of problem-solving. This is what AHARA focuses on. It is about, first and foremost, visualizing how you want to feel when you get there. That’s what I worked with this woman on. She knew how she wanted to feel. She wanted to feel a connection with whoever she was working with. She wanted to feel a sense of purpose. She wanted to feel successful. All those are wonderful words, but I had her dive into what that felt like inside. We then work it backward. If you already can solve how you want to be and feel in the world, then you can determine what you’re going to do.

 

Ultimately, with her, she didn’t change what she did. She just changed how she was doing it. What she discovered was it wasn’t the job that was unfulfilling for her. It was the lack of connection and the people. She was the boss. It was her company. It was who she had hired and that lack of connection with them. She wanted more of a familial atmosphere at work because she was very much that way at home. The two worlds were not meshing. She felt like she had to be someone else at the office. That’s a cool story.

 

I’m sure you have the same thing too. Women come to you and they’re like, “Coach me for what and where. I don’t know.” Zeroing in on how you want to feel is the first step. Do you want to know the sad thing about that? It’s that many women can’t even describe that either. They’ll say, “I haven’t felt it before. How do I know?”

 

Have you had any men go through this program?

 

I have worked with a lot of men but not with AHARA. Here’s my philosophy on that. I’m putting this out to the universe. I hope I am dead wrong with this. I hope that. AHARA is a program that stretches people. Since it is about all the things that we’ve talked about, becoming self-aware and dealing with how you feel about things, and I don’t mean in a mushy way but I mean getting in touch with who you are. That is not a strong point for men. The reason why it’s not is the same reason why women have these issues.

 

Men have also had this erroneous programming that they’re not supposed to be emotional and that they have to be strong. They have a whole different set of issues than women have, but they have their issues too. That is the main reason why I have counseled many men. My practice started to be maybe 10% of men and it grew to almost 50%, which I found encouraging. Younger men are getting different messages like younger women that are more positive. I hope there are men out there who want to tune in to this because it benefits all of us when we understand each other better.

 

Corporate Culture

It’s sad to me. Especially in the corporate world, the majority of the upper echelon are White males. To your point, if they’re not in touch with their feelings, how can they properly lead people and be there for them compassionately, empathetically, and almost lovingly from that human being’s perspective? I always find that people, especially CEOs, are so rigid and don’t show emotion instead of embracing the fact that you have human beings working with you, not just employees. This is a great time in the world where so many of us, you, me, and many different coaches, are all pushing together to make the world a better place. We all have different programs. I love that AHARA is focused on self-awareness first and then moving on to different things. It’s so incredible.

 

It’s interesting because my background is in corporate training, specifically in the areas of sustainability, cultural change, and emotional intelligence. That’s where I started. I know it sounds like very separate things. When I started in the sustainability field, that was not a well-received word at the time. This cultural change was a big part of that.

 

In working with my corporate clients, I realized that you can’t change a culture until the people within it change. It is true. You can’t dictate it from the top down. Honestly, the grassroots movement from the bottom up very seldom applies or succeeds as well. In all those years and in the twelve years since I left that sector, I’ve been trying to bridge that gap. I’ve been working individually and helping people change. AHARA stemmed from this particular idea.

“You can't change a culture until the people within it change.” – Roberta Fernandez Share on X

We have a lot of problems in the world and we’re not doing a very good job at solving them because we are still functioning in an old way of thinking and being. It is this either-or kind of thinking. We have to shift to a both-and. Something happened in the corporate sector and many sectors. It’s not just in companies. You see it in sports. You see it in everything. You see it in churches and community groups. It’s prevalent. There has been this “us versus them” mentality with men and women. You see it in not only genders but all kinds of things where one person is right and the other person is wrong. There are so many beautiful shades of gray that we are not learning from, and they all provide us with opportunities.

 

AHARA came from the Einstein quote that we can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that got us there. We have to learn. When you’re mired in the problem, there’s no way you can see the solution because it’s what you’re focused on that’s always going to be prevalent and always what you’re going to get more of.

 

AHARA takes all of those things, even the concept of what’s reality. It’s our thoughts and our feelings that are shaping our reality. We think that we’re in this society that controls us or that we’re controlled by all these external factors. We cannot control them sometimes, but we can always control how we feel and how we do them. That brings us back to what you think and what you feel is driving your life.

 

Even the stress that you feel is self-imposed because you’re letting all of these external things. I caught myself not long ago. I was like, “I have a lot of meetings.” I was then like, “Let’s chill out. It’s okay.” It instantly shifted my day from all of these things controlling me to being more in control of my thoughts and my feelings. Until you’re aware or unless you’re aware of work like this, you’re stuck in that little rat race. All the problems that we have are all in our heads. It’s crazy.

 

Think about it. Some people think this is woo-woo stuff, but when you think about every law and every system that we have that governs us, man made that up. I mean men. We didn’t have those days and those things a long time ago. We’re still trying to get those days. It is all made up. Everything is self-imposed. It doesn’t mean that I’m advocating that you stick your head in the sand and you don’t pay attention. That’s not it. I know the women who tune in to your show are intelligent enough to know that. We have to start looking at things differently. What I have learned in the last twelve years and my consulting days is that if there’s a problem, emotion is at the heart of it.

“If there's a problem, emotion is at the heart of it.” – Roberta Fernandez Share on X

Cleaning Out Your Closet

I agree. Along those lines, I also know that you have the Cleaning Out Your Closet. It’s a good segue to talk about that because you referenced the limiting beliefs or not feeling like you’re deserving and worthy. It’s almost like you put yourself in a box in your head and you’re not sure how to get out of that box. Cleaning Out Your Closet talks about how individuals can, first of all, be aware that it’s a limiting belief or that it’s a thought that’s holding them back. What can they do about it? Let’s talk a little bit about that.

 

Cleaning Out Your Closet is deeper work. It’s one-on-one because it has to be very personal. It’s interesting because not long ago, a woman left my office and we were talking about limiting beliefs. I was talking to her about the work she’s done. She’s like, “I know why I act the way I act and I do what I do. I’m just not ready to give it up yet.” I thought to myself, and I have to be very tactful, “You don’t know the why then. If you understood the why, you’d be willing to give it up.”

 

What happens is then we have to take a look at the mind, the difference between the logical mind, the conscious mind, and the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is very logical. It has to have reasons. It has to figure stuff out. The subconscious mind is the polar opposite. That’s home to your imagination. It’s home to your emotions and your belief system. All the rules about your life and all your long-term memories are there. That’s where it started.

 

I used to own a Montessori school. We had children ages 3 to 12. I clearly could see this change happening in children. Up until the time you’re around 6 or 8, you don’t have a logical brain. That hasn’t formed yet. Your capacity for logic is not there. It’s why every four-year-old believes Santa goes around the world one night, delivers presents to everybody, and comes down their chimney even if they don’t have one. The reason why they believe that is because Mom and Dad said. They don’t have a logical brain to say, “That’s not possible,” or even question it.

 

You said something earlier that struck me. Maybe this is a good time to talk about it. You said that around a certain age, things start changing between males and females and that females around eight are who they are. I’m going to tell you that is true for all children. I used to tell parents this before I even knew the why behind it. I used to say, “By the time your child is around eleven, they are who they are. They’ve got their values instilled,” because the parents did that. It doesn’t mean that you can’t change. It’s just that they are confident in who they are at that moment.

No Woman Left Behind | Roberta Fernandez | AHARA
AHARA: By the time your child is around 11, they are who they are.

 

What happens, alluding back to what you talked about, is that it is at around that age when society starts to elevate men over women. The boy is stronger. He’s faster. He’s whatever. Boys are starting to mature a little bit. Girls mature earlier, and that continues through our twenties. It takes them longer to mature. What that means is that the protective mechanisms that the brain has aren’t fully formed until those times.

 

When those protective mechanisms are formed, our belief system is sealed in there. It can be changed, but not without a lot deeper work than superficial conscious mind stuff. That’s how I work with people at that deeper level through visualization, meditation, and those kinds of things because that is where all those emotions and beliefs are stored. You have to get to the root.

 

What I said is confidence peaks at age nine. Women don’t pick up working on their confidence again until their late 20s or early 30s. When they are feeling stuck in their careers and are trying to figure out, “What do I do?” that’s when they consciously start working on the custom career roadmap. To me, it’s a variety of tactics that you need to do to be promotion-ready. When that promotion comes around, you’re there, you’re ready, and you’re confident.

 

A lot of times, for women, it’s like the chicken and the egg. They want to be confident but they’re not actively and intentionally working on their career, similar to their emotions. Once they start working on their roadmap, they start knowing themselves. They start learning and understanding themselves, which inherently brings out confidence. It’s not a coincidence that that happens. It’s very intentional.

 

There’s another reason for that. We’re going to start seeing a shift in that, and here’s why. This is not based on science. This is a personal observation. To me, it does hold some water. For example, I’m technically a Boomer, but I’m at the very end. I was raised by parents who are much older than me, so I have those older ways of thinking and influence.

 

In every generation, we start to see that period where we shift from one generation to another in our attitudes about how we raise our children and about how those children want to function in the world. A lot of times, we don’t want to do what our parents did. We want to do the opposite. The pendulum swings. It’s in that little bit where we’re not all the way up yet where there’s this opportunity.

 

Women who are probably 35 to 40 and older are still in that old timeframe where you got pregnant very early, you had your family young, and then you sacrificed your career for that because you needed to be the mom. Maybe you were trying, like in my generation, to do it all and do it all perfectly, which was ridiculous. Younger women are not having children early. Some are not electing to have children at all. I honestly thought I was going to be in that category for a long time. They’re making different decisions.

 

The confusion that we have in these older generations is, “How do I balance all that? How am I a woman? How am I a mother? How am I a wife? How am I a successful person in my career?” There’s a lack of confidence because you’re trying to juggle too much and be good at all of them. We put a lot of expectations on ourselves that are not realistic.

 

I look at my daughter. She’s waiting to have children until later. Maybe she will or maybe she won’t. I don’t know. She’s focused more on her career and her studies and getting those things that she wants. She’s very confident. I look at a lot of her peers exactly the same. That’s part of the bridge. Does that make sense to you?

 

Generational Shifts

Absolutely. Also, the young generation, 20 to mid-20s, are talking about salary. When I was in the corporate space, it was taboo to talk about salary. You would even be threatened by your employer, like, “You can’t talk about salary.” Now, there are pay transparency laws coming. In Illinois, the pay transparency laws are going to be effective in January 2025. That’s going to help with the pay gap. These young women are talking about salary and openly sharing it. I’m like, “What?”

 

I don’t know if you ever go on TikTok, but there’s this young woman. The name of her handle is @SalaryTansparentStreet. She goes around the country asking people, “What do you do? How much do you make?” People tell her. They’re sharing. That’s also a mindset shift that we don’t have to be so secretive about money and opportunity. I’m sure you’ve heard of the former Secretary of State who’s passed away, Madeleine Albright. She has a quote that I love. It says, “There’s a special place in hell for women that don’t support other women.”

 

I agree. That’s another sea change that I see coming too. Women are much more supportive of each other. That has been lacking. It drives me crazy. I have a hard time holding my tongue when I hear other women being condescending or disrespectful to other women. That’s another shift that we’re seeing when we look at generations.

 

It drives me crazy when they say, “Millennials are lazy.” It’s ridiculous, number one, to put that generic thing to a generation. Millennials were a direct response to the people from my generation. They want to work for a company that has their values. They want to feel good about their job, their purpose, and what they’re creating in the world. I don’t know what’s wrong with that because those are all good things. What it was and why that moniker or term is applied to them is that they challenge the status quo.

 

The next generation is even braver in saying, “How much are you making? I’m not making that. That’s not fair.” Those are all positive trends. I know that at the top of the ladder, there are a lot of people who are older who are challenged by those things because it used to be that it was rank and file. You fell in. If you wanted to work there, it was a privilege. With technology and how society is so different, you don’t have to work for the same company until you retire. That gives people more freedom and more power to affect change.

No Woman Left Behind | Roberta Fernandez | AHARA
AHARA: With today’s technology and how society is so different, you don’t have to work for the same company until you retire. That gives people more freedom and more power to affect things.

 

I was having the exact same conversation with someone I know. They were like, “These young people don’t want to work hard.” I’m like, “That’s according to you. That’s your value. They have a completely different value.” I was listening to Amy Porterfield. She’s a social media guru. She was talking about making the bed. Her husband doesn’t believe in making the bed, but she believes in making the bed.

 

What he was getting at is he values his time and he wants to go make money. Even though it takes three minutes to make the bed or not even, to him it wasn’t important. For her, seeing the bed all messy didn’t register well with her, so she needed to make sure that the bed was made. It’s the same bed, two different perspectives.

 

This older person was like, “They don’t want to work hard enough.” I’m like, “That’s your value. That’s not their value. They value their time. They value their free time, their vacations, technology, shoes, and things like that. They don’t necessarily value working 50 or 60 hours a week the way we were programmed by the older generation.”

 

There’s this idea of quiet quitting. I have to laugh at this whole idea that bosses are enraged that a worker is not returning an email at 8:00 at night or not returning a text. “I’m sorry. Are you paying me for that?” I don’t see anything wrong with that objection. As an entrepreneur, I work 24/7 sometimes. That’s wrong too. It’s that old thinking that has to go.

 

Life is changing. Society is changing. Whether people like it or not, you need to jump on the bandwagon. I know people look at me with my gray hair and my extended years and think I’m one of them but I am not. Everything has to evolve and change. When we are stuck in that either-or way of looking at things, everybody loses because there’s no room for creativity or opportunity in that kind of thinking. We miss out.

 

I can’t tell you how many people say, “I’ve always done it this way. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.” There’s an argument for that. If you have a level of success that you are truly comfortable with, then good for you. The reality of it is there could be so much more potential waiting for you if you didn’t have that attitude. That is what the next part of AHARA does. It is to realize those abilities that you’re not.

 

It’s fascinating to me. One of the advantages of getting older is that you can look back and see these trends. The danger with the getting older part, and my daughter very purposefully points this out to me sometimes and I have no argument with it, is that things are not the same as when I was her age. Things have changed. The problems are different. Are there still the same problems? Of course. Are there ways to relate and learn? Of course. Being 30 now is not what it was like for me at 30 at all.

 

Hypnosis

I agree with that. We’re coming down to the end of our conversation here. I know that you have a special tool in your tool belt, which is hypnosis. Tell me a little bit about how you use hypnosis or whether you use hypnosis with AHARA and how you use that tool.

 

We don’t use it in AHARA unless someone is doing it one-on-one, which is available. It’s a little pricey because it’s a lot of hours. It’s very intense. I use it in the Cleaning Out Your Closet part because it is a way to quickly and efficiently get to those limiting beliefs. It’s so efficient. I only spend an average of 10 to 12 hours with a client. We’ve gotten to the root of the problem and they are ready to go.

 

I look at it as a nice precursor to AHARA. Not everybody needs it but most people can get value from it. What it has taught me in the last twelve years that I have used hypnosis is that I have a much deeper understanding of what drives people and how limited the conscious mind is. All of your answers are inside of you, every single one of them.

 

There are two things I trust in the world. One is that emotions drive behavior. That’s why you have to be aware of them. The second is that your subconscious mind knows what the problem is and it knows how to fix it. I’m just a facilitator. That’s all I am. It’s like you with your coaching. You’re not telling people what to do perhaps because that’s so individual. You can guide them. You can facilitate. Ultimately, where it’s of most value to someone is when they figure it out for themselves.

 

As coaches, we’re always facilitating, asking, digging, and almost poking the bear a little bit. You mentioned a story. I have something similar where I was talking to a woman. She has chronic pain. She was like, “I’m working on all of these things but I can’t give up the sugar.” I was like, “Why can’t you give up the sugar? It’s counterproductive to all the work that you’re doing.” She was like, “It’s because I like it.” I said, “Do me a favor. Do some research on how bad sugar is for the human body.”

 

Sugar is poison to the human body. With her chronic illness, will the research that you find be the one thing that you need to finally say, “I don’t want to put that in my body because it’s counterproductive to my healing?” She’s putting in tons of hours of healing, meditation, the sauna, or whatever, and then the sugar is right there. It’s so interesting for something like that to go through the program and be like, “I’m never going to eat sugar again.”

 

Here’s the interesting thing. When you understand how the subconscious mind works, when you say something like, “I’ll never eat sugar again,” the subconscious mind is very literal and it does not understand negatives. It hears, “I will eat sugar again.”

 

I have heard that.

 

This is the understanding of the difference between how the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind function. They do opposite jobs. They can’t do each other’s jobs. The reason why she’s eating sugar is that there’s an emotion driving that behavior. All of these things are symptoms. They’re coping mechanisms. Sugar, the moment that you eat it, makes you feel good. It is addictive. It does drive more of that, and you need more of that. Where does that come from? That comes from you falling and scraping your knee and grandma saying, “Have this cookie. It’ll make you feel better.” That’s happening repetitively. It could be protection. It’s lots of things, but they’re all based on emotion. It’s fascinating.

 

You Are Like A Disco Ball

This is a wonderful conversation. We have talked about many different things. What is one actionable thing that would benefit our audience from taking away from our conversation?

 

There are a million. Can I give them an action item? Is this okay?

 

Yes.

 

On my website, FAREHypnosis.com, there is a free recording. It’s called You Are Like A Disco Ball. It’s right in the header. It’s right there. You don’t have to look around anywhere else. It’s free. It is for confidence-building and motivation for how you’re shining your light in this world. It’s about four minutes of guided visualization that will go a long way. Especially if you’re having a tough day or not feeling so great about yourself, please go download it and listen to it. It is amazing. It’s my gift to everybody who visits my website. If we had to say from our conversation, we have talked about a lot of good things. It is setting that alarm, writing down what you’re thinking and feeling, and doing that as often as you can throughout the day. That’s a good first step in becoming more aware.

 

Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it. This was an incredible conversation. I can’t wait for feedback from our audience and to share it out in the world. Thank you.

 

Thanks a lot. It was nice to meet you.

 

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Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the show. This conversation with Roberta was eye-opening. I know that you’re going to take so much away from this conversation. Roberta is a powerhouse when it comes to personal and professional development. She dropped some serious wisdom that we all need to know.

 

Two things were critical to point out that Roberta and I talked about. The first one is that we need to break free from our limiting beliefs. Our limiting beliefs can hold us back. These beliefs so often are from our upbringing, society, and past experiences that can seriously hinder our process if we don’t confront them. Roberta shared that true change starts with becoming aware of these beliefs and then working to replace them with empowering thoughts that align with our goals.

 

The second powerful thing was the power of self-awareness with AHARA. Roberta introduced us to her incredible program, AHARA, which is A Higher Awareness and Realization of your Abilities program. This is designed to elevate your self-awareness and help you realize your true abilities. This is a year-long journey that’s all about shifting your mindset and breaking through those barriers that are holding you back. If you are feeling stuck in your career, AHARA might be the key to unlocking your next level of success.

 

Roberta leaves us with one awesome takeaway tip. She recommends that we set a random alarm throughout the day on our phones and write down what we’re thinking and feeling when that alarm goes off. Trust me. It’s way harder than it sounds, but it’s a game-changer in helping you become more aware and intentional with your goals.

 

A couple of other reminders. If you haven’t done so already, please take the Promotion Readiness Quiz that will let you know where you are in your advancement journey. I also want to invite you to check out the Unlock the Leader Within membership created for women like you. This is a community of like-minded women looking to advance in their careers with intention and confidence. With that, remember to be brave, be bold, and take action.

 

Important Links

 

About Roberta Fernandez

No Woman Left Behind | Roberta Fernandez | AHARARoberta offers programs for individuals and organizations that develop emotional intelligence and guides them through a change process to awaken their full potential and realize their highest abilities.

 

Roberta is an experienced corporate trainer, an engaging public speaker, an Integrative Emotional Intelligence Specialist, holds a Master Practitioner certification in NLP (Neurolinguistics Programming), and is a Board-Certified Hypnotist.

 

She has conducted thousands of individual client sessions and more than 85 noteworthy presentations and trainings over the past fifteen years. Notable amongst her past clients are Kemps, Sam’s Club, Target, Optum, Pentair, and numerous governments, academic and private organizations.