Negotiating for yourself isn’t just about the paycheck—it’s about knowing your worth and ensuring your contributions are recognized and rewarded. Yet, for many women, the idea of negotiation can feel intimidating, often bringing up feelings of anxiety or uncertainty about what to say. That’s why Dorothy Mashburn, an interview and salary negotiation coach, joined the Unlock the Leader Within membership as an expert guest. With over 20 years of experience in hiring, recruitment, and negotiation, Dorothy aims to help women confidently advocate for themselves and secure the pay they deserve.
In her session, Dorothy shared actionable strategies and powerful phrases that can transform how you approach negotiation conversations. This blog captures her insights, equipping you with the tools to step into your next negotiation with clarity and confidence.
1. Why Negotiation Is Non-Negotiable
Women often avoid negotiation because it feels uncomfortable, intimidating, or unnecessary. However, as Dorothy Mashburn pointed out during her presentation, skipping negotiation can have long-term consequences beyond the initial salary you agree to. She illustrated this with a striking example: a $20,000 difference in salary at the start of your career might not seem significant at first glance, but over 30 years—factoring in annual raises, inflation, and retirement savings—that small gap balloons into over $600,000 of lost earnings. Imagine what you could do with that money—pay off a mortgage, remodel your kitchen, go on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, fund your children’s education, or secure your retirement.
Dorothy emphasized that failing to negotiate isn’t just a missed opportunity; it’s a costly mistake. Employers rarely offer their best number upfront. Whether due to budget constraints, market uncertainty, or simply an attempt to test the waters, companies often present offers below the role’s actual value. “It’s not about being greedy,” Dorothy explained. “It’s about ensuring you’re compensated fairly for the value you bring.” Women who don’t negotiate leave money on the table, setting a precedent that undervalues their contributions.
The Mindset Shift Women Need
Dorothy pointed out that much of women’s hesitation around negotiation stems from societal conditioning. Women are socialized to be grateful for opportunities rather than assertive about their worth. This conditioning leads to self-doubt, fear of rejection, and a tendency to settle for less than they deserve. Dorothy clarified, however, that negotiation isn’t about confrontation or selfishness—it’s about collaboration. “Negotiation is a problem-solving exercise,” she said. “It’s two parties coming together to align on the value of your work.”
Power Phrases for Establishing Fair Pay
To make the case for fair compensation, Dorothy shared these power phrases for salary discussions:
- “I’d like to ensure the compensation reflects the role’s expectations and scope.”
- “How does this salary align with the market data for similar positions?”
These power phrases ground the discussion in professionalism and objectivity, shifting the focus from a personal “ask” to a broader conversation about the role and market standards. By framing the conversation this way, you position yourself as knowledgeable and confident, reducing the emotional weight of the conversation.
2. How to Delay Salary Conversations
One of the most critical moments in a negotiation happens before the conversation begins. Dorothy stressed that rushing into salary discussions too early can put women at a disadvantage. “When recruiters ask for your desired salary upfront,” Dorothy explained, “it’s often a tactic to lock you into a range before you’ve had the chance to understand the full scope of the role. If you answer prematurely, you risk undervaluing yourself.” Instead, Dorothy emphasized the importance of delaying salary conversations until you have a clearer picture of the position’s responsibilities, expectations, and overall value.
Why Delaying Matters
Dorothy shared a real-life example of a client transitioning to a larger company in an exciting move. The recruiter asked for her desired salary early in the process, and without hesitation, the client provided a number. The recruiter quickly agreed, but as Dorothy and the client analyzed the role further, they realized it required significantly more responsibility—managing multiple offices in different states and taking on a more demanding workload. Unfortunately, the client had already locked herself into a number that didn’t reflect the position’s value, leaving tens of thousands of dollars on the table.
Dorothy explained, “You can’t negotiate effectively if you don’t fully understand what’s being asked of you. Taking time to assess the expectations of the role allows you to provide a thoughtful response that aligns with your value.”
Power Phrases to Delay Salary Discussions
To navigate these situations, Dorothy shared scripts for gracefully postponing the conversation:
- “Salary is important, but I’d like to understand the role and its expectations in more detail before providing a range.”
- “Can you share the budget for this role? That will help me assess if it aligns with my expectations.”
- “I’m excited about this opportunity and happy to discuss salary once we’ve explored how I can add value to your team.”
How These Phrases Work
These power phrases accomplish two key objectives. First, they redirect the conversation back to the employer, giving you time to gather critical information about the role’s scope and expectations. Second, they convey professionalism and thoughtfulness, signaling you’re serious about aligning your values with the company’s needs. Dorothy emphasized that employers expect candidates to take time to evaluate offers, so using these phrases is both acceptable and often appreciated.
What If the Recruiter Pushes for a Number?
Sometimes, recruiters will insist on hearing your salary expectations early, saying things like, “We don’t want to waste anyone’s time.” Dorothy explained that this is a standard pressure tactic and that you shouldn’t feel obligated to comply. Instead, flip the question back to them by saying:
- “I understand, and I’d be happy to provide a range once I know more about the role. For now, can you share the budget for this position?”
Dorothy advised using a broader range based on your research if they continue to push. For example: “From what I’ve seen in the market, roles like this typically fall between $80,000 and $100,000. I’d happily confirm if this aligns with your budget as we continue the conversation.”
Delaying the salary conversation isn’t about avoiding the topic—it’s about gathering the correct information to ensure you’re negotiating from a position of strength. Dorothy reminded participants that confidence comes from preparation: “When you take control of the timing, you take control of the conversation.” Using these power phrases, you can confidently navigate the early stages of negotiation without feeling pressured or unprepared.
3. Crafting Your Salary Range
One of the most empowering things you can do when entering a salary negotiation is to come prepared with a clear understanding of your value. Dorothy highlighted that this means knowing what you’re worth in the market and creating a three-part salary range: your dream number, your desired number, and your deal-breaker number. By establishing these three points, you’ll have a roadmap to navigate the negotiation confidently, no matter how the conversation unfolds.
The Three-Part Salary Range
Dorothy explained each component of the range:
- Dream Number: This is the ideal salary you aspire to—what you’d love to earn if everything aligns perfectly.
- Desired Number: This is a realistic but fair figure based on your value, experience, and market research.
- Deal-Breaker Number: This is the absolute minimum you’re willing to accept. Anything below this isn’t worth your time or effort.
For example, if you’re currently earning $70,000, your three-part range might look like this:
- Dream Number: $100,000
- Desired Number: $85,000
- Deal-Breaker Number: $75,000
Dorothy stressed the importance of setting these numbers based on research, not guesswork. “Your salary range isn’t just a number you pull out of thin air,” she said. “It’s grounded in data, confidence, and the value you bring.”
How to Research Your Range
Dorothy walked participants through specific tools and strategies to determine their market value:
- Salary Websites: Tools like PayScale, Glassdoor, and H1Bdata are great for finding salary ranges for similar roles in your industry and location.
- Professional Networks: Reaching out to alum groups or trusted contacts in your network can provide up-to-date salary trends.
- Job Postings: Reviewing postings for similar roles can help you gauge what companies are offering for comparable positions.
Dorothy explained that by triangulating these data points, you can craft a salary range that’s both competitive and realistic.
Power Phrases for Presenting Your Salary Range
Once you’ve established your range, the next step is presenting it confidently during the negotiation:
- “Based on my research and experience, my salary expectation is between $X and $Y. Does this align with the company’s budget?”
- “From what I’ve seen in the market, roles like this typically range between $X and $Y, which is consistent with my expectations.”
These phrases frame your range as a well-researched, professional benchmark rather than a personal demand. Dorothy emphasized that data-backed language removes emotion from the conversation and positions you as informed and prepared.
Why This Matters
Dorothy shared a powerful story about one of her clients, a chief digital officer who received an offer that was $150,000 lower than the market rate for his position. The client initially thought the offer was fair, but after Dorothy helped him triangulate his market value using salary tools and network insights, he negotiated a significant increase. Dorothy explained, “Without knowing your range, you risk accepting an offer that undervalues you—not because the company is malicious, but because they may not have done the market research you’ve done.”
Crafting a salary range isn’t just a helpful tool—it’s essential for ensuring you approach the negotiation with clarity and confidence. By grounding your numbers in research and aligning them with your value, you set the stage for a productive conversation that ensures you and the employer feel satisfied with the outcome. As Dorothy reminded participants, “Preparation is your greatest ally in negotiation. Know your numbers, own your worth, and never be afraid to advocate for yourself.”
4. Building Flexibility Through the Want Portfolio
Negotiation isn’t just about base salary but the complete package. Dorothy introduced the concept of the Want Portfolio—a list of items beyond salary that hold value for you, whether that’s extra PTO, professional development opportunities, flexible hours, or bonuses. “Sometimes companies can’t meet your salary expectations due to budget constraints,” Dorothy explained, “but that doesn’t mean the negotiation is over and where your Want Portfolio comes into play.”
Understanding the Want Portfolio
The Want Portfolio includes three primary categories:
- Money: This encompasses not just your base salary but also bonuses, stock options, or retirement contributions.
- Time: Consider PTO, flexible schedules, or remote work options that improve your quality of life.
- Development: This includes leadership training, certifications, or mentorship programs that contribute to your long-term career growth.
Dorothy shared a story about a client who realized the company couldn’t meet her salary expectations during a senior-level role negotiation. Instead of walking away, she negotiated additional PTO and a professional development budget that allowed her to attend leadership conferences and gain certifications—investments that would enhance her career trajectory. “When you expand the scope of your negotiation to include these perks, you can create a package that feels just as valuable as a higher salary,” Dorothy said.
Power Phrases for Negotiating Perks
To effectively introduce your Want Portfolio into the conversation, Dorothy shared these phrases:
- “If the base salary can’t meet my expectations, are there additional PTO or professional development support opportunities?”
- “What flexibility exists around remote work or leadership training programs?”
- “Could we explore a performance-based bonus structure to bridge the gap?”
How These Phrases Work
These phrases allow you to remain collaborative and adaptable while prioritizing your needs. They show that you’re focused on money and finding solutions that benefit both you and the company.
Framing Your Requests Strategically
Dorothy advised tying your requests to the company’s goals to increase the likelihood of approval. For example:
- “I noticed the company prioritizes leadership development. Would you consider supporting me in attending a leadership certification program to enhance my contributions in this role?”
This approach positions your requests as mutually beneficial rather than self-serving, which increases the likelihood of agreement.
What to Include in Your Want Portfolio
Dorothy emphasized that your Want Portfolio is tailored to what matters most to you. Examples she shared included:
- Extra PTO or the ability to work remotely two days a week.
- A budget for continuing education, certifications, or industry conferences.
- A signing bonus or relocation assistance.
- Health and wellness benefits, like gym memberships or mental health support.
Your compensation isn’t limited to the numbers on your paycheck. By leveraging your Want Portfolio, you can create a holistic package that aligns with your financial, personal, and professional goals. Dorothy reminded participants, “Negotiation is about building a life, not just collecting a paycheck. Think about the benefits that will make a difference for you, and don’t be afraid to ask for them.” By preparing your portfolio and using the right power phrases, you’ll expand your options and increase your chances of walking away with a satisfying and fair deal.
5. Securing Leverage: BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
One of the most essential tools in your negotiation toolkit is leverage. Dorothy explained that your ability to negotiate effectively depends on having a strong BATNA—Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. A BATNA is your backup plan, the option you can turn to if the current negotiation doesn’t meet your expectations. “Leverage is all about confidence,” Dorothy said. “When you have a solid Plan B, you negotiate from a position of strength rather than fear.”
What Is a BATNA?
Dorothy broke down BATNA into simple terms: it’s your alternative. If you don’t reach an agreement in this negotiation, what’s your next step? For example:
- Another job offer with better compensation or benefits.
- A promotion or lateral move within your current company.
- Freelance or consulting opportunities you can pursue instead.
“Your BATNA gives you the power to walk away without feeling like you’re losing,” Dorothy explained. “It’s your safety net, and when you know you have one, it changes the way you approach the conversation.”
Why BATNA Matters
Dorothy shared a powerful example of one of her clients, a marketing executive negotiating for a leadership role at a Fortune 500 company. The company made an initial offer that was far below the market rate. Because the client had been actively networking and building her personal brand on LinkedIn, she had several other companies interested in her expertise. This gave her the confidence to say:
- “I’d love to work with your team, but this offer doesn’t reflect the market value of my skills and experience. Is there flexibility to revisit the numbers?”
Dorothy explained that her client’s ability to reference other opportunities subtly shifted the dynamic. The employer increased the offer significantly, recognizing that they weren’t the only option.
Power Phrases for Demonstrating Leverage
To highlight your BATNA and reinforce your position, Dorothy suggested the following:
- “I’m exploring several opportunities and want to ensure this offer is competitive.”
- “Given my other options, I’d like to understand if there’s room to improve the offer.”
- “I’m excited about this role, but I’ve seen similar positions in the market offering $X to $Y. Can we adjust the offer to reflect that?”
These phrases allow you to confidently communicate your leverage without appearing confrontational. They also encourage the employer to consider what they might lose by not meeting your expectations.
How to Build Leverage
Dorothy encouraged participants to actively cultivate their leverage before entering a negotiation. Here’s how:
- Expand Your Network: Build relationships within your industry through LinkedIn, professional associations, or alumni groups.
- Develop Your Skills: Pursue certifications or training programs that make you stand out as a candidate.
- Create Visibility: Share your expertise by writing articles, speaking at events, or contributing to projects that showcase your leadership.
Dorothy shared another example of a client negotiating a promotion within her current company by positioning herself as an invaluable resource. By leveraging her reputation as a thought leader, she secured a leadership role and a salary increase without even having to apply externally.
Leverage is not about bluffing—it’s about preparation. Dorothy reminded participants, “Your BATNA doesn’t have to be another job offer. It could be the strong personal brand you’ve built, the relationships you’ve nurtured, or the value you consistently deliver in your current role.” When you know your alternatives, you walk into negotiations with the confidence to advocate for what you deserve—and the freedom to walk away if the offer doesn’t align with your value
6. Asking for More Without Fear
For many women, the fear of “asking for too much” can feel paralyzing during negotiations. Dorothy explained that this hesitation often stems from a fear of rejection or a misconception that negotiation is confrontational. “You’re not being difficult when you negotiate,” she said. “You’re being professional. Employers expect candidates to ask for more.” Dorothy emphasized that the key to successfully asking for more lies in your approach—viewing negotiation as a collaborative conversation rather than a personal battle.
Reframing the Ask as Problem-Solving
Dorothy shared that one of the biggest mindset shifts women can make is seeing negotiation as a way to solve a problem. The problem? Ensuring that the compensation package aligns with the value of your work and the company’s needs. Instead of focusing on what you’re asking for, focus on how you present it. Framing your request as a solution-oriented discussion helps both parties feel like they’re working toward a shared goal.
Power Phrases for Asking for More
Dorothy provided participants with specific phrases to confidently ask for more:
- “The offer is slightly below my expectations. Can we revisit the base salary to better align with my market value?”
- “I’m excited about this opportunity, but I’d like to explore whether there’s room to adjust the salary to reflect the scope of the role.”
- “Help me understand the constraints around this offer—are there other ways to bridge the gap, such as bonuses or additional PTO?”
- “Given the additional responsibilities outlined, I’d like to revisit the compensation to ensure it reflects the expectations of the role.”
How These Phrases Work
Dorothy explained that these phrases accomplish two essential things: 1) keep the conversation collaborative and 2) emphasize your understanding of the role’s value. By focusing on market data, the scope of responsibilities, and alternative options, you signal the employer that your request is rooted in fairness, not entitlement.
The 4-Volley Rule
To avoid prolonged back-and-forth that can derail the negotiation, Dorothy introduced the 4-Volley Rule: limit the negotiation to no more than four rounds of counter offers. “Dragging it out doesn’t help anyone,” she said. “If the company isn’t willing to move after four rounds, it’s likely they’ve hit their ceiling.” This approach keeps the conversation productive and helps you maintain confidence without appearing overly demanding.
Real-Life Example
Dorothy shared the story of a client who negotiated her salary from $90,000 to $110,000 by using the problem-solving approach. Initially, the company offered $90,000, citing budget constraints. Rather than accept the offer or push aggressively, the client said: “I’m excited about this role, but the offer is slightly below what I was expecting. Can we revisit the salary or explore a performance-based bonus to bridge the gap?” The employer appreciated her collaborative tone, adjusted the base salary, and added a $10,000 performance bonus.
What If They Say No?
Dorothy reassured participants that hearing “no” is not the end of the conversation. “If they can’t meet your request, shift the focus to other benefits or long-term incentives,” she said. For example:
- “If the base salary can’t be adjusted, could we explore additional PTO or a professional development budget?”
- “Would the company be open to revisiting my salary after six months based on performance?”
Asking for more isn’t about being difficult, it’s about ensuring that your compensation reflects the value you bring to the role. Dorothy reminded participants that most employers expect negotiations and respect candidates who advocate for themselves professionally. “You’re not being pushy by asking for what you’re worth,” she said. “You’re showing that you understand your value and the value you can bring to the company.” With the right approach and power phrases, you can confidently ask for more and navigate the conversation clearly and respectfully.
7. Creative Negotiation Options Beyond Salary
Negotiation isn’t just about the number on your paycheck—it’s about crafting a compensation package that aligns with your professional goals and personal priorities. Dorothy Mashburn emphasized that while salary is often the focus, you can negotiate many other components to maximize the overall value of your offer. “If salary isn’t negotiable, don’t walk away. Look for creative ways to make the offer work for you,” she said. Dorothy encouraged participants to think beyond traditional compensation and consider other benefits and perks that could significantly enhance their quality of life and career development.
What Else Can You Negotiate?
Dorothy provided an extensive list of negotiable items, explaining that companies often have more flexibility with benefits than salary. Some of the most impactful perks include:
- Additional PTO: Negotiate for more vacation days or flexible scheduling.
- Professional Development: Request a budget for certifications, leadership training, or industry conferences.
- Relocation Assistance: If moving is required, negotiate for moving expenses or temporary housing.
- Flexible Work Arrangements: Explore options for remote work, hybrid schedules, or compressed workweeks.
- Performance-Based Bonuses: Suggest bonus structures tied to meeting key objectives.
- Wellness Benefits: Ask for gym memberships, mental health support, or childcare assistance.
One of Dorothy’s clients successfully negotiated a leadership development budget and a signing bonus after the company couldn’t meet her desired salary. “Those benefits didn’t just enhance her compensation package,” Dorothy explained, “they positioned her for long-term career growth.”
Power Phrases for Negotiating Beyond Salary
To introduce these additional benefits into the conversation, Dorothy shared these power phrases:
- “If the base salary can’t be adjusted, could we explore additional PTO or a flexible work schedule?”
- “Would the company be open to providing a budget for professional development or certifications?”
- “What other benefits might be available to enhance this offer, such as bonuses or relocation assistance?”
- “Could we explore a performance-based bonus structure as part of the package?”
How These Phrases Work
These phrases shift the conversation from a “no” to a “let’s explore what’s possible.” Dorothy explained that when you propose creative solutions, you signal flexibility while advocating for your needs. Employers are often more willing to say yes to perks that don’t appear as recurring expenses on the company’s balance sheet.
Framing Your Requests Strategically
Dorothy advised tying your requests to the company’s priorities to increase the likelihood of approval. For example:
- If the company values employee development, you might say: “I noticed the organization emphasizes leadership growth. Would you consider supporting me in pursuing a certification program that will enhance my contributions in this role?”
- If flexibility is essential, frame it as a productivity booster: “I’ve found that flexible work arrangements allow me to bring my best to the role. Could we explore a hybrid schedule as part of the package?”
By aligning your requests with the company’s goals, you show that these perks benefit you and the organization.
What If They Push Back?
Dorothy explained that you can introduce a trial period for certain perks if the company seems hesitant. For example: “Would you be open to revisiting remote work options after three months, based on performance?” This approach makes employers feel more comfortable saying yes without committing long-term upfront.
The Bottom Line
Negotiation is more than just dollars—it’s about creating a package that reflects your worth and supports your success. Dorothy reminded participants that perks like additional PTO, professional development, or flexibility can significantly impact your overall satisfaction and work-life balance. “Sometimes, the value of what you negotiate outside your salary can far exceed the monetary increase you were hoping for,” she said. Using the right power phrases and keeping an open mind, you can turn a limited salary offer into a total package that works for you.
8. Knowing When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the most empowering decision you can make during a negotiation is to walk away. Dorothy Mashburn stressed that knowing when to step back isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of self-respect and clarity. “If the offer doesn’t meet your minimum expectations, or if you’ve identified a stronger Plan B, don’t be afraid to say no,” she advised. Walking away allows you to preserve your value, energy, and time for opportunities that align with your goals.
Recognizing When It's Time to Walk
Dorothy shared a story about a client offered a senior management role with a prestigious title but an inadequate compensation package. Despite the position’s appeal, the client realized the salary didn’t reflect the responsibilities or market value. After weighing her options and consulting her BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), she respectfully declined the offer. She accepted a role at another company that provided better financial compensation and growth opportunities. “Saying no isn’t easy,” Dorothy acknowledged, “but when you know your worth, you’ll have the confidence to turn down offers that don’t align with it.”
Dorothy also highlighted that walking away sets an important precedent. “When you accept less than what you’re worth, you send a message—not just to the employer but to yourself—that your value is negotiable. And it’s not.”
Power Phrases for Declining Offers
To turn down an offer professionally and respectfully, Dorothy recommended these power phrases:
- “Thank you for the opportunity, but this offer doesn’t align with my career and financial goals.”
- “After careful consideration, I’ve decided to pursue other opportunities that better match my expectations.”
- “I truly appreciate the offer and your time. However, I believe this role isn’t the right fit for me at this time.”
These phrases open doors for future opportunities while maintaining professionalism and self-worth.
What If You're Unsure?
Dorothy addressed many women’s anxiety about walking away, especially when they don’t have a guaranteed Plan B. “If you’re unsure, give yourself permission to ask for time,” she advised. For example:
- “I’d like to take some time to think this over to ensure it’s the right decision for both of us.”
This approach allows you to weigh your options without feeling pressured to decide.
The Empowerment of Walking Away
Dorothy explained that turning down an offer can often have unexpected benefits. Employers may return with a more substantial offer, or you might uncover opportunities you hadn’t previously considered. She shared an example of a client who declined an offer, only for the employer to reevaluate two weeks later with a revised package that included a higher salary, additional PTO, and a professional development budget. “Walking away doesn’t mean you’re burning bridges,” Dorothy emphasized. “It means you’re setting boundaries.”
Final Thoughts: Claim Your Value
Negotiation doesn’t have to feel intimidating or adversarial. As Dorothy showed throughout her presentation, it’s about advocating for yourself in a way that aligns your values with the employer’s needs. From delaying salary conversations to creating a holistic Want Portfolio and leveraging your BATNA, these strategies empower you to approach negotiations with clarity and confidence.
Dorothy’s advice reminds us that negotiation is a skill—and like any skill, it improves with practice. Whether you’re negotiating salary, benefits, or professional development opportunities, remember: the conversation isn’t about proving your worth. It’s about aligning expectations and ensuring you’re compensated fairly for the value you bring.
Ready to Action?
Are you ready to strengthen your negotiation skills and take control of your career? Start by identifying the habits and patterns that may be holding you back.
If you’d like to hear more from Dorothy Mashburn, check out the full podcast episode by following this link: From Hesitation To Confidence: Dorothy Mashburn’s Proven Strategies To Ace Your Next Salary Negotiation
You can also explore other career-boosting episodes for more valuable insights. No Woman Left Behind Podcast with Rosie Zilinskas
Your value isn't up for debate—it's up to you to claim it.
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