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Take Your Power Back: The Subconscious Work To Empower Women With Denise Miceli

FKW No Woman Left Behind | Denise Miceli | Subconscious Work

 

If you are feeling stuck and unsure how to advance in your corporate career, this episode is for you! Rosie Zilinskas welcomes Denise Miceli, intuitive life coach and creator of Rock Your Blocks, to discuss how to reclaim your power and take your career to the next level. Denise shares powerful tools for identifying and overcoming subconscious blocks that hold you back, including breathwork and journaling exercises. She also reveals how to reframe negative thoughts and situations to build confidence and walk into any interview or meeting feeling empowered. So ditch the imposter syndrome and get ready to take charge of your career journey!

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Take Your Power Back: The Subconscious Work To Empower Women With Denise Miceli

Our guest is an Intuitive Life Coach. Denise Miceli is the Creator of Rock Your Blocks. She has a passion and dedication focused on helping people remove blocks to change. As an Intuitive Life Coach, she uses the powerful tool of subconscious healing to align behaviors, emotions, and patterns with your authentic self. The reason I asked Denise to come on and talk to us is because I know there are women who have difficulty taking back their power. Denise gives us some good tools on how to do that. It is time to take back your power. Stay tuned for my conversation with Denise.

If you are reading this, there’s a good chance that you’re a woman in the corporate world who feels stuck in your career and you’re not sure how to advance. If that’s the case, I want to let you know that I have an incredible resource that can help you. I created a promotion readiness checklist with you in mind. The checklist can help you pinpoint exactly what you need to work on to advance in your career.

 

The best part is it’s completely free and it only takes three minutes to complete. I have helped countless women like you achieve their career goals. I know exactly what it takes to succeed in the corporate world. My Promotion Readiness Checklist is a perfect tool to help you get started on your path to success. You go on NoWomanLeftBehind.com to take the quiz.

Denise, thank you so much for joining me. How are you doing?

 

I’m doing great. I’m excited to be here. Thanks for inviting me.

 

Subconscious Work

Thank you. You do a lot of work with alignment and March is Women’s History Month. I have been talking a lot about self-worth and self-confidence. I know that you talk about Imposter Syndrome and aligning women with their passion. Tell me a little bit about how you do that. How is it that you help someone align their passion with whatever’s happening in their life since you obviously know that corporate women are very busy and we’re trying to take care of many people? Tell me a little bit about how you do that.

 

I was in that world for a long time, so I can totally understand. I often put off my own inner work because I was like, “I don’t have time to spend on this every week.” We don’t have to talk about all of the history and go on and on about the events that are happening in all of that, but what I like to do is use a form of subconscious work that helps us to identify what is the most present emotion that you default to whenever something doesn’t feel right or you don’t get enough rest or whatever stress at work that day, you’re going for a new position or whatever it is, what is the emotion that is always repeating at those stressful times?

 

Is it anxious feelings or sadness? We try to bring down the intensity of that through simply using talk to the subconscious mind. There is a little bit of training to it because we want to explain to your brain how its parts work together, and that is very mystifying for people. When they hear the term subconscious, they’re not sure what we’re talking about. There is a little bit about a fifteen-minute training that explains to your brain, like, “This is this part. This is this.”

 

The big thing that I want people to hear is that 90% of our immediate reactions and actions in life are coming from those subconscious parts of us. If we can calm those emotions, whatever the most present one is, when that person shows up to the group or the session that day, let’s get that softened. Let’s get that down so we can find what’s going on and we can identify some of the more positive things that are waiting for the space to present themselves, be empowered and all of that.

“90% of our immediate reactions and actions in life are coming from those subconscious parts of us.” - Denise Miceli Share on X

It is one of the fastest and easiest ways to make space for a little bit more centeredness, groundedness and tuning in to, “What is it that I want to be doing? Maybe this position no longer provides what it used to, and I’m ready for the next level, but I keep blocking with the saboteur of, ‘You’re not going to be good at that. You tried that once before,’” and all of the things that are inner saboteurs will bring up then we go along with that if we’re feeling tired and stressed.

 

Energy

We talked a little bit about energy. I’m a high-performance coach, and we have a couple of different ways you can shift your energy. You have a way to access immediate relief. If you’re feeling anxious or tired, how do you work with your clients to access that immediate relief and feel your energy shift?

 

I believe energy work is a big part of it for me. Aside from the training that I received on subconscious healing, I have also studied breathwork, yoga, and body-mind practices for years because a lot of times, we might even feel a mild amount of anxiety, but we feel something more in the body. Using breathwork, meditation, and helping women to curate some inner work practice have become a big part of this work. You don’t want to show up once a week or twice a month or whatever it is and have this other person fix you. You want to learn how you can do this ongoing. Some of the research that has come out now is very exciting about breathwork in particular, and they’ve seen that people who are doing breathwork consistently.

 

There’s no rule about it. Five, ten or fifteen minutes a day is ideal if you can put that into your day and begin the practice. It can sometimes have an immediate shift in preparing you for a meeting or an interview, but there are long-term effects as well. One of the studies I read the other day, I’m preparing for a whole presentation on breathwork, and it came up and I was like, “Are you kidding me?”

 

They showed that a 50-year-old who had been taking time out for meditation every day had as much gray matter as a 25-year-old. I thought, “Wow.” What they’re able to see now with these high-level brain scans that make CAT scans look like carving in stone, but they can see how much the brain changes from these different activities. Not only is breathwork almost part of every session that I do to get people to be present, to drop off what they came in with and let the stress go.

 

There’s an immediate sense that every time we work together, you are practicing this. People do find that, “I’m going to maybe try this before bed. I’m going to try this if I’m getting into a triggered state from something that happens at work.” I’m going to leave the environment and try to bring myself back. Those are the tools that I initially learned through yoga. It’s taken a whole separate path for me. It’s become embedded in the practices because, as you know, when you coach someone, you’ve got to give them on-the-go tools. We don’t want to, as women, have everyone depend on us, and we don’t want to be dependent on others for our state of mind and alignment. We want to know how we can manage this on the go.

 

Breath Work

You’re saying breathwork. For those people who don’t know what that is or who struggle, I know a lot of people personally who are like, “I could never meditate. There’s no possible way.” I do a meditation in the morning for about 30 minutes, but I now know what to do to pull myself back and things like that. Can you give a little bit of a simple explanation of what you mean by breathing? I think meditation is becoming more and more the norm and common knowledge. Share with us a little bit about that.

 

The way that I learned breathwork was as 1 of the 8 limbs of yoga. The thing that people misnomer about yoga is that it’s the postures, but it has eight different parts. One of which is meditation. One of which is breathwork. These are the three major ones and there are other philosophies, daily habits, and all of that.  The ass and other postures, the breathwork and meditation, and then concentration because in order to do the other three well, you need to be able to concentrate. It’s being able to concentrate enough to clear your mind but to get deeper into the breathwork. The breathwork can be as simple as noticing where you’re breathing. That’s where I usually start when I’m presenting to a group that hasn’t had any breathwork training.

 

FKW No Woman Left Behind | Denise Miceli | Subconscious Work
Subconscious Work: The breath work can be as simple as just noticing where you’re breathing.

 

I will break down where it comes from in my experience. There are other ways people come to it, but the purpose of it is to calm the nervous system. We can show them science if they’re people who need convincing, but you do have to want to try. It is not something that you’re going to do the first time and you’re going to want to. That’s why people work with facilitators now and practitioners, even I, recommend that people go onto an app. I have a profile on an app where you can go and see some of my meditations, listen, and try different styles because, I will say, after over five decades of doing it, I’ve changed my style many times.

 

For some time, I might want to hear someone guiding me every morning in a certain way based on how I feel when I wake up. Now I like calming, soothing music. There’s so much healing music now. I love to hear all this new music. I will clear my mind. I find that that’s more powerful. That wouldn’t be a place for a beginner. First of all, it is about starting and noticing where you breathe, noticing where your breath is.

 

Many people will discover they breathe in this top part of their lungs. They may be experiencing the body sensation of someone who doesn’t have enough oxygen, who may get tired midday, who may react more than they would if they were a little more balanced. We start by noticing, and then we connect the idea in the initial meditation of, “Let’s breathe into the full lungs, feel both sides of your ribs expand. Feel your air go into your belly.”

 

We’re using visualization, but we get them to do a breath all the way from the top, all the way to the bottom. We show them what organs are part of the anatomy of the breathwork system. It opens up this whole door. We show them how this affects the parasympathetic and that the more you practice bringing yourself out of that fight or flight mode, the more you will be out of it when things happen. We lay the foundation. If they’re science geeks and they want the information, we’ll throw some research at them because many years ago, you’d have to search to find a few articles. Now, I’m sure it’s in the corporate world and everything. That’s how I approach it.

 

I do like three levels. I start with notice and practice a simple three-part breath, and then we’ll go into some more complex breath that they’ll feel like a mental reset from, that they’ll feel more connected to their body. They have a taste of what’s possible with the idea of practice. It isn’t going to be for everyone, but at least give it a try, especially if you’re going through a tough time. I’ve been through times where I didn’t meditate for a while, and then I was like, “I miss that. I need to get back to it,” then you go back and do it.  You try to be as consistent as you can. The more that I read this data that comes out, I’m like, “I want to have more gray matter as I get older.” We need all the gray matter we can get.

 

Empowering Women

I talk a lot about empowering women in the corporate world and owning that confidence, understanding that if they are not confident, what do they need to do? One of the things that I tell them to do is to start taking action. When they start taking action, their custom career roadmap, then the confidence builds in parallel. I know you talk about feeling more empowered and thinking more positively, which ultimately helps women make better choices in their lives both personally and professionally. What are some things that you could recommend to women in the corporate space to embody that confidence and to feel more empowered so that they can make those better choices?

 

I always try to develop tools, whether it’s self-questioning or journaling. With the breathwork, I often will say, it’s a perfect time to journal because you’ve cleared space. What is it that you want to create? It’s a wonderful way to end it because, let’s say your mind was jumping all over, which, trust me, I have days like that where I go, “The fifteen minutes is up. I don’t think I cleared my mind for a minute,” and it’s okay. It’s showing you the quality of where you are right now but following it with a journal activity where you’re not necessarily creating a list of what you want to create but a powerful statement about who you are. I am the powerful creator of my life. Something that will go to in opposition to that saboteur, that inner critic that’s in there saying, “Are you sure you want to go in that competition with those other people?”

 

All the things that come up when we want to go for that gold. It’s important to have some positive statements. On the other hand, if there’s a crisis going on and there’s something negative, you’re dealing with using the breathwork session, whether it’s breathwork or quieting the mind, coming to a close and saying, “Above all else today, I want to look at this situation differently. I want to reframe it. I know there’s another perspective that can be more positive. What would that be for me?” It might not be, “Everything’s wonderful,” from having this conflict at work. It could be something like, “I know there’s a better perspective,” then allowing that to come out of you onto the paper. I’ve gone to digital journals onto the iPad and let it come out.

 

Sometimes, the answer is within you and you haven’t given yourself time to listen, then you can go ahead and have a little confidence and say, “That is a better way to look at this. I shouldn’t focus on what I think someone thinks of me before I even walk into the interview. I need to focus on all of my strengths and have bullet pointed out for me so that I can walk in there feeling powerful.” Often, as women, we tend to overly focus and not just women, but in this case, we are judged from many lenses. It’s like, “You’re a mom, a wife, a vice president and all of these things.” People are looking for the cracks. They’re looking for those things. If all we do is focus on that and everything with social media and everything, people are picking each other apart, the world is like that right now.

 

If we focus internally instead and round out our inner work practices with, “How can I go forward with a different perspective? How can I get to a better feeling than what I have now? What’s a little bit better?” Maybe I can feel hopeful right now. Maybe I can’t feel okay, “Everything’s going to be ACEs,” but I can go a little bit higher on that emotional scale to allow myself to bring in the positive and walk into that meeting and interview feeling more empowered. My energy is going to show that. If I go in there feeling more empowered, positive and confident, that’s going to come through. If I go in there and I’m looking at everyone and I’m thinking, “What are they thinking about me?” That energy comes through as well.

 

We have to be aware that many more people are much more aware of that and that how we go in there is going to be visible. Oftentimes, the confident person, and I know you’ve probably been on interview teams as well. You can tell when somebody maybe has the skills, but they’re not showing the confidence and vice versa, when I would pick the confident person that I know is intelligent any day of the week over somebody who is very fearful or showing a lot of indecisiveness even on how to answer questions, for example.

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Triggers

Some of that you were talking about triggers. If someone triggers yourself in the external, how do you react to the internal? Let’s say that someone in the corporate space got some bad reviews from a customer or a coworker, and either the customer or the coworker is upset, which is making the individual upset. Once they recognize a trigger, what can they physically do? Sometimes, when you’re at your desk, you don’t even think about doing the breathwork because you’re triggered. What are some things that women can do once they recognize that they’re feeling that way?

 

It is very triggering. When a situation or a person says something where you get an email and you can feel that zing, it’s important to take the space away from that. Walk away from the computer. If you can go into a break room, go outside for some fresh air, and take your break, We never take our breaks, but take a step outside. I tell people, “Ask yourself a couple of things. What is the emotion that I’m feeling? Is it anger? Is it sad? Is it I’ve been found out? What is it?” Try to identify it as best you can and then ask yourself.

 

Our first reaction is always to bash the other person because they’ve somehow injured us. They’ve somehow hit us with a dart we want to lash out. We want to blame them and say they’re dumb or whatever. We’ve got to go inward to determine what in us, what from our past, what in our memories, our emotions are being triggered. That is a sign that we need to do that inner work because that is where the power is.

“We've got to go inward to determine what is in us that is being triggered. That is a sign that we need to do that inner work because that is really where the power is.” - Denise Miceli Share on X

If we want to clear that stuff and be able to become all that we can, we’ve got to be able to identify that work, and then perhaps we can clear it on our own. Even if it brings up a bigger root and we decide we want to go do some work in a workshop or work with a healer, therapist or whatever, the point is that it’s owning the responsibility for like, “This is related to this other event in my life where I was disregarded. I was ignored for the accomplishments I had in a certain area. This email is saying the same thing in a cryptic way.”

 

We’re not going to be able to respond to that in a productive way. We identify where it comes from, try calming it down a little, and give it some space. Don’t reply right away. Take some time. You can sleep on it. Everybody says you need to sleep on it. Think about it. You need to ask those questions. What’s the emotion? What is it connected to? You might realize that it has so much power because what it’s connected to goes a lot deeper. It may be a theme of your childhood, teen years or some other point in your life where you constantly were not heard. You constantly were disregarded or whatever it was that triggered you.

 

With this work, you can begin to see that and say, “This is not who I am anymore. I don’t need to be freaking out when someone doesn’t see me. What I need to do is go back and say, ‘Thank you for your message, but I would like to point out these things that I’ve done in this area.’” Correct the situation in a very calm, professional and responsible way, which you’re not going to be able to do 30 seconds after you read that email. It’s that self-questioning.

 

It’s important and powerful. It takes the power back to ourselves. As you work with people ongoing, you may identify a need to work with someone more deeply. It may be something where you could be like, “I didn’t realize that was exactly how I felt when I was a teenager.” I still feel that way about my family. They don’t see my intelligence or whatever it is. Especially if it’s gone on throughout your life, it could be very hard to neutralize that quickly in one sitting. At least the reality of it softens your reactions going forward.

 

Emotional Intelligence And NLP

It’s interesting how things from our past are always going to come up in our present. It’s crazy because what happened many years ago has no impact on my life, but it’s the thought in my head about that one event. From being a middle child of five, I know the whole thing about not seeing and getting lost in the shuffle, but you’re absolutely right because that one trigger is almost like we’re taking the charge away. We’re letting it simmer and calm down and then the next, however long it takes, you can deal with it more calmly. Is this the same thing you would say as emotional intelligence or is that a little bit different?

 

I believe it’s connected because I have some training in that. I know that when people have these realizations that they’ve never had and they’re in their 40s, 50s and up, and they’re going, “This has been at play my whole life.” They even start to come back week after week and be like, “That was part of my first marriage,” or whatever. They started to see the pattern was repetitive. It’s an awareness that feels like emotional intelligence because now I can make a different choice. I can see when I’m going to date someone if they need my strength, but they’re not bringing the strength that I need. As women, a lot of times, we feel like we are validated for the value we bring to a job, a career or a person.

 

We deserve to have value back. Sometimes we get lost in that. I think that’s part of it. As far as what it’s related to, a lot of it is what they’ve learned about the neuroplasticity of the brain that we hold all of the memories of our life as much as we sometimes want to forget or sometimes remember one that was like connected, that we’re like, “That was buried, but now it came up.” The point is that we can change those. We can soften them. We’re never going to get rid of them. They’re part of who we are, but we can soften their influence on us. Now that they know that the brain is changeable by breath meditation, going out and taking a run, doing things that we love to do, and having more of that in our lives.

 

We can change the course of where we go with it. Certainly, self-awareness is the first part of it. Some people are getting trained in neurolinguistic programming, which is very similar because it’s about talking to the brain in very simple statements. A lot of them are, “I am,” statements, very powerful or statements where you’re creating what you want to feel. Instead of repeating the same stories in the same negative frame, how can you say this in a more positive way so that when you go to tell someone about it, you’re not repeating the same negative story because it’s cementing it even more?

 

We now understand how much our words and our thoughts become those limiting beliefs. It’s as easy then to say, “If I change my words, how I talk about myself and how I think about myself, then I can eventually get to changing those habits.” We know the brain is neuroplastic, so we know it’s possible. The most exciting part for me is seeing these brain pictures before and after, and it’s like something is happening. Do they truly understand all of it? No. They know certain segments of the brain show a difference before and after these activities, which is profound.

 

I’m very familiar with NLP and meditation. As a matter of fact, I did a seminar by Landmark Education back in 2007. At that time, I was going through a bad divorce. They had us do this exercise. They were like, “We’re going to take 30 minutes and you’re going to write out your story.” There were 200 people. We’re all writing. They paired us up with another person and said, “Now that you have your story, however many pages it is, you’re going to read it out loud.” Everybody’s like, “Uh.”

 

Every time you read it out loud, it was like that charge was dissipating. After reading it 6 or 7 times, then you were like, “I can’t believe I was so focused on this story that’s on paper,” then you fold it and they’re like, “Now you’re going to let it go.” The majority of the people were able to get past that hurt or whatever. It’s almost like we healed it by the fact of taking that charge away.

 

Physically and metaphorically, it’s very powerful. Sometimes people will know the emotion, like I’ve always been prone to sadness, but they’re like, “I love life and all of that. How can I keep allowing this to come back?” When they realize the depth of it, they realize how much the relationships that are closest to them involve sad people. Their inputs are more sad than anything else. If you are a sensitive person, which a lot of us didn’t realize until later in life, how sensitive we were absorbing all of those stories, all of those emotional baggage that sometimes are generational. If that is what we’re carrying around, wow, we are missing out on the fact that we’re very happy people at the core and we’re very capable, but all of carrying all of this stuff.

 

FKW No Woman Left Behind | Denise Miceli | Subconscious Work
Subconscious Work: We’re really missing out on the fact that we’re actually very happy people at the core, and we’re very capable.

 

That’s where we bring it up and then quickly treat it, depending on the person. I’ve had some people who completely left an entire career and it took them coming back to several sessions to continue to soften and then allow more space, then it was, “I’ve got the resume rewritten. I want to go into nonprofit from sales.” It’s a big leap. It’s a totally different thing. Certainly, anything is possible if it’s something that you can show passion for and you can make connections between what you’ve done and where you want to be. We have to unblock that stuck energy.

 

Saboteurs

The conversation that we’re having is probably related to this. I have found that women sabotage their career advancement by doing a few things, not believing they’re deserving and worthy. That could show up in many different things, operating with a fixed mindset and then not having that career roadmap. What have you found when it comes to saboteurs and that old part of your past that keeps coming back?

 

Digging a little bit more into the saboteurs. I know that I relate it to the training that I had, those younger parts of us that are still in a protective mode, but it can also be a parent, a grandparent, anyone in the family that was influential, the most powerful and the saboteur that we all have to a certain degree but can be very pronounced in some of our elders, and I’m talking about the elders of our generation of women is the judge.

 

The judge is otherwise known as the inner critic. The judge was always quieting us down when we got excited. They were always taking our ideas and saying, “Why would you want to do that?” That echoed through us. Some of us might have been the black sheep in our family, wanted to go to college, wanted to do this, wanted to do that and we’re constantly told over and over again, “That’s crazy. You can’t do that,” or whatever the case may be. We were judged as not having a good sense of things. That becomes a part of us. It is a protective part that’s trying to save us from the agony of defeat or not being able to get into college, but it’s a saboteur that we have to pull up and identify. If every time we have a thought or an idea and we share it with people around us who are doing that, it reinforces and strengthens that saboteur.

 

It takes a lot if you are in that situation. That’s where getting outside help is important because you’re not going to throw away everyone in your life, including your parents, grandparents, and all of that stuff. However, you can put it in a different perspective. There’s that word again where it is like, “That was their mindset. It was very fixed. They thought women should be a certain thing.” Here I was coming along saying, I don’t want to be that thing. I was pushing the envelope and  I got a lot of pushback. I eventually learned that when you get an idea, don’t run to them with it because you want to be excited about it and there are people who are going to support you no matter what your ideas are. Find more of those people.

“There are people who are going to support you no matter what your ideas are, find more of those people.” - Denise Miceli Share on X

If you don’t have any, look at what you’re doing and surrounding yourself with, even in coworkers. There are sometimes coworkers who can be very supportive. There are sometimes others that maybe they’re not helpful in giving you good advice and they’re shying you away from positions and saying, “They’ve been hiring a bunch of people less qualified than you for that position,” or whatever the case may be. That adds to your saboteur. In doing this work, you can often start to see that, “Maybe I need to pull back from some of these people in this particular thing. I’m going for this big position. Maybe I need to get a career coach. Maybe I need to assess how much I have a fixed mindset.”

 

Just because you find out, “I used to have my teachers take that assessment.” A lot of them found they were much more fixed than they realized. It doesn’t mean that you have to stay that way, but it’s self-awareness that, like, “I didn’t think that I felt, ‘This is the intelligence you have. This is the only intelligence you’re capable of in your life. How limiting,’” but we can look at the other side of it and say, “There’s a possibility that I can get this position, but what are my inputs? How am I being supported, and are they the right people? If not, maybe I need to get with a business coach or a career coach.”

 

They may not even have a plan. Some people, I’m sure you’ve seen this, apply for every open position that has the word in it that they’ve been educated in. That is not a good thing to do. It is true that we all need expertise at some point in our lives, especially as women. We get up there in our careers and we are worthy of these bigger positions, but our fears and those saboteurs, especially the judge, that inner critic, can be the one that can derail.

 

We definitely have to be aware of that fixed mindset versus the growth mindset. For example, one of my friends is an avid skier and they love it. I have a total fixed mindset on skiing because it’s of no interest to me. It’s like there, but when it comes to playing guitar, I am a novice guitar player, but I have more of a growth mindset because I’m taking a few classes.

 

You enjoy it.

 

When I have free time, I will try to do that. I know I can do it. It is a matter of applying myself and doing it. You can have a fixed mindset and a growth mindset depending on the things that are of interest to you. I’m curious. Tell me a little bit about your story. You are in the corporate space and now you’re doing this important work. How did you go from being in the corporate space to this breathwork, yoga and everything that you’re doing?

 

Transitioning From Corporate

It’s an interesting story because I had a lot of education to be in the career that I was in. I was moving up because I had my own business before. I have experience with leadership, speaking to people, and all of that. Very early on, I was getting promoted, getting to a high level, interviewing for positions with 2 or 3 rounds and all of that stuff. I realized that as I got higher up, the stress load was changing for me. It was changing the game. I feel like when are our cultures going to figure out that working people to death the way that they do? For a while, there was a little movement toward job sharing and part-time work for these bigger positions. It’s fizzled. It’s like, “Work, work, work.”

 

I couldn’t see or find anyone in those positions who was happy, who did not literally live in their office and then take work home with them, working 12-hour days, 5 days a week, then taking work home with them or coming in on Saturday. I started this career a little bit later. I was in my 50s and going, “This feels like it’s going to kill me.”

 

Literally, people in these higher positions were going to the hospital on a Friday. They were all not in touch with who they were, but they felt like they couldn’t leave because they had only this much time left, only this one. I became very sad. Even though I was good at it and I was going for positions, something must have shifted in my energy. In the first and second rounds, I presented in front of all these people and handled the interviews very well.

 

Something would happen, and I wouldn’t get it. It happened for about eighteen months. I started to reconnect with my breathwork and myself. Deep down, I was even having dreams, and this happened before in my life when I was dreaming of having more control over my time. I dreamed of using the skills that I had in a way that was more empowering because I love coaching, leading, speaking, and inspiring people. That was a big part of that work. It was a bureaucratic structure. It was a hierarchical structure. It was very limiting, and there was no hope that it would change. I felt like I motivated and inspired, but then it was like the next big wave would come and crush all that work.

 

It felt like it wasn’t the long haul for me. I made it to twenty years. I was going to walk away and I said, “I went to my union and I found out that I could retire early.” It was one of my girlfriends who was always a champion, one of those girlfriends who is always there to applaud you on whatever ideas you have. She was the one who said, “Go talk to them.” When I heard that I could get an early retirement, I was like, “I can take everything that I’ve learned and make it into something that is empowering.” I knew that I wanted to work specifically with women because, in particular, my situation of growing up in a very patriarchal family. Not all families are like that, but mine was.

 

It was very clear that they did not think that I should do anything that I was doing. I knew that a lot of my contemporaries were going to experience the same thing. Now, being here, I am later in life and able to use all of those skills. I got trained in crucial conversations and all of that, social and emotional intelligence, being able to take all of that and then add individual coaching to it, and now I’m going back to what I love, which is working in groups and doing small groups on this work is powerful because you’re learning from each other and it’s not all coming from the teacher or the leader. That’s how my story morphs into it. What is passionate for me is that I know there are many women, whether it’s career, they want to start a business, they’re in a corporate career, they have many skills and they’re like, “I could see myself doing this,” even if it’s a part-time business.

 

You don’t have to have people think of, “I’ve got to have all these people working for me.” I’m a solo entrepreneur. I hope to be able to have a couple of people working for me, but I’m perfectly happy knowing that now I can show women this is possible. It took a lot to clear the space in me and have the courage to say, “I’m walking away. Those degrees I earned are still working for me. I changed how they’re working for me.”

 

I love that, first of all, you can relate very well with the woman who is in the corporate space and how you basically took back your life. You took back your power. That, to me, is inspiring because even as an entrepreneur myself, you can change things around or you have more flexibility with your own schedule. It is empowering. I can see that you love the work that you do, as do I. It makes such a big difference when the work that you’re doing has meaning and you feel fulfilled. When I see one of my clients have a breakthrough, it makes my day because I know everything that I’m doing is worth it. Do you get the same sense?

 

Even being on the show and connecting with women like you makes it seem like we’re validating each other. We’re being heard and getting this word out there that we can have what we want in life. We don’t have to have that impossible. Back in the 50s, and I heard these stories from my mom and my aunts. It’s like, “You were expected to be at home to be preparing the meals. You were not going to have a job.” They had zero power when we think that wasn’t that long ago. There was a syndrome that they coined in psychiatric terms that women would develop this sadness complex. Why? It’s because they had no life. They were literally stuck at home.

 

There’s nothing wrong with having children or a family, but that was supposed to be it. In fact, that’s one of the reasons my parents weren’t together. When all four of us were at school all day, my mom wanted to get a job, and my dad would not have one. That’s how close it is in generation-wise to us. To be able to help women see, “You can take your power back. You can figure this out. You can have more control over your time.” I can take much better care of myself now and know that if I had been on that path, I would not be feeling as good as I’m feeling now.

 

Even thinking about it, there have been jobs that have come up and I look at them and looking at the job description, I can feel my energy. I’m like, “There’s no way that you could sit at a computer all day, look at laws and all this bureaucratic stuff that, yes, I have the ability to do, but sometimes having the ability is not reason enough to do something if it doesn’t make you feel good.”

 

FKW No Woman Left Behind | Denise Miceli | Subconscious Work
Subconscious Work: Sometimes, just having the ability is not reason enough to do something if it doesn’t make you feel good.

 

I was in the car with my mom and she was like what you said, it’s not that far away. Her mom, my grandmother, was not allowed to wear pants because my grandfather told her that only men wear pants. My mom said that she saw her mom wear pants one time in her entire life, and it was because of something that they were doing. When I heard that, a little piece of me was enraged a little bit because you couldn’t even dress your own body the way you wanted to. I was thankful and grateful that I’m living in these times now.

 

The interesting thing is, being in these transformational times, I feel even more driven to do this work because people are being faced with massive change. People are losing loved ones or divorced to death to all these things. People are moving to different places, but all over the world, as women are trying to rise and people are trying to become empowered, there’s this other force that’s trying to turn back the clock. They’re threatened by, they can’t believe that we can all be empowered, so they say, “We’re going to take away all of your power and go back those many years.” I do believe this work is very timely and very needed. It feels like what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m glad that we got the chance to connect and I love what you’re doing.

 

Many of my clients are going through that transition, whether they want to stay in corporate, how they want to show up in a corporate environment, or is it a choice that is time for them to branch out onto something different using their skills because we don’t have to get rid of everything. For a while, I put my degrees away and I realized, “They’re going back up on the wall because I worked hard for them and they have made me a leader. They have my Bachelor’s in Mental Health.” All of those things can be used and are used no matter who you are. It all becomes one big amalgam of the special gifts that you have to share.

 

This has been a wonderful conversation. Is there one thing that you can leave the audience as an actionable takeaway?

 

Take A Break

I think that whether it is triggering or any situation that is stressing you out, being able to take a break from it is important. That’s pretty obvious. I am ready to see this from another perspective if you can use that statement above all else. Breathe in, breathe out three times and repeat that. I am ready to see this from another perspective. If you connect with yourself in that way, something will come. A lot of times, it’s sitting right there in our hearts, but we’re blocked with all this stuff from outside of us. Take a moment. Take a walk out in nature and say, “I am ready to see this from another perspective.” Trust yourself, your breath and your heart because you have the answers.

 

It’s wonderful. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you.

 

Thank you. It was a pleasure.

I appreciate Denise’s unique view on using our emotions. There are a few thoughts that I wanted to wrap up from this conversation. The first one is Denise says that we would benefit from aligning our passion with our professional life. She says that we need to identify the most present emotions during stressful times and using subconscious work that will calm our emotions.

 

We talked about the power of breathwork and meditation. Denise says that breathwork and meditation are essential tools for managing stress and improving mental well-being. I know that there’s a lot of research out there about the benefits of meditation. Personally, I have been trying to meditate for a long time, and the most I have ever been able to meditate for 18 or 20 minutes. Now, I’ve incorporated meditation as a primary practice for myself in the morning. I can tell the days that I don’t do my meditation, which I do meditation most days, but on the couple of days that I haven’t done it, then I can definitely tell the difference.

 

Setting up my day by beginning with meditation is key and important for how my day goes. She also says that it’s important for us to identify and overcome our saboteurs. She says doing the work to identify the role of our inner saboteurs is key. She says that we may have an inner critic or a judge, as she coins. This judge or inner critic often stems from influential figures that we grew up with. She advises us to identify and manage these saboteurs through self-awareness, positive reinforcement, and creating supportive environments.

 

The one actionable tip Denise leaves us with is that she recommends taking a break from stressful situations and using the statement, “I am ready to see this from another perspective,” and combining all of that with deep breathing. This simple practice helps us calm the mind and allow new positive perspectives to emerge, reinforcing self-trust and inner wisdom.

 

I am happy that Denise came on and shared all of her expertise. If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to complete the Promotion Readiness Checklist or check out the Unlock The Leader Within Membership. If you’re interested in more, you can always schedule a complimentary strategy call with yours truly. With that, remember to be brave, be bold, and take action.

 

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About Denise Miceli

FKW
No Woman Left Behind | Denise Miceli | Subconscious Work
Rock Your Blocks was created by Denise Miceli, whose passion and dedication focus on helping people remove blocks to change. Denise is an intuitive life coach who uses the powerful tool of subconscious healing to align behaviors, emotions, and patterns with your authentic self.   She offers small group and limited individual intuitive life coaching to help you create the change you want to see in your life.