If you believe that you deserve a raise, negotiate for it. Believe in your own worth. Most women would often let other people get in front of them because they don’t believe in themselves. They don’t know just how much power they have, they just need to see it. As a woman, you need to believe in your self-worth. Join Rosie Zilinskas in this solo episode as she reflects back on the year that was 2022. Discover what Rosie has for the future and how that relates to helping women find their worth. Stay tuned for more!
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This episode is going to be a little bit different than what I normally do. Typically, I have a guest, but it’s going to be a solo cast and I plan on doing this a little bit more in 2023. I wanted to share a little bit about my journey in 2022. This has been a very interesting year for me. I have had massive growth personally. I left my comfort zone and started this show. When I rated the types of projects that I wanted to work on, I rated this show as 3 out of 10.
I had other projects that I thought I would be working on that rated much higher or way higher. When I decided to work on the project, it was the one at the bottom. It was the show that I started working on. I wanted to challenge myself being a host for a show and putting it all together has been an incredible journey. I also was able to launch my new website. I co-authored a chapter in a book called Engaging Speakers: Voices of Truth. That was co-authored with 22 other authors. That in and of itself was a project.
I was also the keynote speaker for the Accounting and Finance Conference and that was super cool because it was a black-tie event and I was a featured keynote speaker there. I delivered my message at various different events. I traveled to Colorado Springs. I spoke at the Air Force Academy. I spoke in Erie, Pennsylvania at Keystone Conference, which is a nonprofit conference. All of that was fantastic.
I also have been doing a lot of work on a variety of other projects. I started doing all of this work because I have been in the corporate world for many years. I have seen many women in the corporate world hold themselves back. I wanted to get the message out there that there are things that you can do to advance in your career. My mission is to eradicate the gender gap in the corporate world by empowering women in their careers so that they could obtain the life they loved.
I truly felt I had a calling and a duty to give back and serve women in the corporate space because career development has always been my passion. When I saw the need to teach or show women that they were holding themselves back and how they were holding themselves back, things started clicking and happening. It’s one of those things that I had not planned to become an entrepreneur or to go out and start talking about. It happened naturally because I’m very passionate about helping women in the corporate world. Everything that I do is truly in the spirit of serving you as my readers.
The show has become my favorite thing to do out of everything that I’m working on because it’s a way that I can easily support you. I’m also getting great feedback and a lot of support from you back. Thank you all for supporting me and having my back in this project as well. This has not been easy. It has had its moments. I initially had quite a few challenges. Now, I have found my groove. It finally feels right and I have met incredible women throughout all of the conversations that I’ve had. I’m right around 40 episodes at this time.
I want to let you know that many podcasters podfade which means that they will get to maybe 10 or 12 episodes and then they quit because maybe it wasn’t a good fit or they didn’t feel that they could continue because it is a lot of work to release episodes. I release episodes on a weekly basis. My episodes typically publish on Fridays. In the following week, I try to feature my guest on social media because I want to make sure that they are featured as well. I want to get the word out about my show. It has been a tremendous journey. Again, I’ve had great conversations and all the women that have come on my show are incredible women. I find guests in many different ways.
Over the last couple of months, I have been having conversations with my guests and I’ve noticed that there has been a trend in some of the phrases that either they say or I say. One of the phrases that keep coming up is, “You have to know your worth.” Another one is, “You have to be clear on what your value is.” The last one that I hear often is, “What do you bring to the table?”
When I started hearing the trend of these phrases, something started brewing in my head. I started thinking about, “Do we articulate what those phrases mean and what they’re about?” I started thinking it would be good for me to provide you with some detailed information on what those phrases mean. This idea started brewing in my head that I could do a series of episodes that deal with negotiating skills that address what those phrases mean.
From there, this idea evolved into a full-fledged project. The project is now a series of episodes called How to Negotiate in the Corporate World. Right now, it’s pretty much the end of 2022. 2023 is beginning and this is the perfect time for me to launch my project because it’s a passion project. What’s interesting is that this series of eight episodes is again dedicated to enhancing your negotiating skills.
Through the conversations that I’ve had with the guests, I’ve also been able to determine that there is a method to the madness. I have identified six elements in the negotiating process. Beyond that, I started jotting some things down and created a workbook to go along with these six elements. I started detailing what each of the elements is about or what it entails. One of these central elements of the workbook is going to be defining know your worth and what that means.
This whole workbook is still a work in progress. It’s not quite ready to be put out into the world so I want you to stay tuned. This workbook is going to help you to go through the negotiation process, which will take time to master, but I can guarantee you that you will be pleasantly surprised by the time you get through the process and what you will discover about yourself if you are willing to do the work. Anything that is worth doing takes time and preparation.
If you are a career woman, I want to help you articulate your worth with massive confidence, conviction, and clarity. That’s what this whole series is about. In addition to the workbook, I am compiling a list of powerful phrases that you can use in your negotiation conversation. Those powerful key phrases are from all of the conversations that I’m compiling.
For example, in the corporate world, it’s not readily accepted for a woman to disagree in front of everybody. One of my guests had said that instead of saying, “I disagree with you,” you can say something like, “I don’t look at it that way. Let me tell you what I’m thinking.” That is an example of a powerful phrase that you can say to anybody, and nobody’s going to take it as an aggressive statement or think that you’re disagreeing necessarily.
Instead of just outright disagreeing, say, I don't look at it that way, let me tell you what I'm thinking. – Rosie Zilinskas Click To Tweet
This list of powerful phrases will also come into play in the workbook. One of the elements of the workbook is that once you know what you want, you’re going to have to script out what you’re going to say to your manager. For example, if you are seeking to get a raise to increase your compensation because of the work that you’re doing, you will be able to know your worth and be able to script it out with these powerful phrases. In the workbook, I’m going to recommend that you physically write out what you’re going to say. Use a traditional pen and paper and physically write the statements out because when you use the physical movement, it flows through your brain, and it internalizes and sticks in your brain from that exercise.
Once you have your script if you want to translate it into a Word document, then better yet. Initially, you’re going to write everything down on pen and paper. These phrases are going to be part of what I’m going to offer so that you can have the words that you’re going to going to use to script out your thoughts so that you’re not fumbling with what you’re going to say. Again, that’s one of the elements of the workbook for you to physically script it out.
Another element is that you are going to have to practice what you script out. I’m going to recommend that you schedule some time with a trusted individual, whether it’s a coworker or a friend, and practice. It’s the hated role-playing, but honestly, role-playing is a very powerful exercise. If you can hear yourself physically saying what you are intending to during the actual negotiation, you’re going to be able to hone those words or maybe exchange one word for another one. If you do it with your spouse, sibling, or a trusted friend, they might be able to give you 1 or 2 words on how to say something better. It makes a big difference when you prepare yourself for the conversation.
Also, I want you to be prepared in the event that your attempt fails. They say, “No. We’re not doing any raises right now.” To counter that, I want you to have a rebuttal ready. A rebuttal could be like, “I hear what you’re saying. Can you please help me understand why we don’t have raises right now?” They might say, “You’re not ready.” “I hear what you’re saying. Could you help me understand how I’m not ready or what I can do to get ready?”
At the end of that piece of the conversation, you’re going to say, “Thank you for your time. I would like to revisit this again in three months. Is it okay if I schedule a meeting?” Of course, they’re going to say yes. You’re then going to have to follow up. Make sure that you schedule the meeting or a reminder for yourself to have the meeting and then revisit the conversation again. Persistence is also another thing that you’re going to have to continually do because the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Preparation is key. You must practice if you genuinely want to articulate your worth with that massive confidence, conviction, and clarity. You have to hone the confidence, have that conviction, and then be clear on what you’re going to ask. All of that is coming in the first part of 2023. I’m excited because one day I was like, “Maybe I should have a series on negotiating because all these women negotiate well,” and so that’s the first part. The second part was the phrases first. I thought about, “It would be cool to put together all these phrases,” and then the third component is the workbook because I started jotting down some things and then it just became a workbook. The whole project flowed well and nicely.
I want to share with you a little bit about some of the episodes that are going to be coming up because it’s important for you to have a preview of a few of the episodes. We are going to kick off the series with Joie Seldon. She is an Emotional Intelligence Master Trainer. She is going to help us understand the emotions that you’re feeling behind the negotiation process. Specifically, we’re going to talk about how you can regulate your feelings during the conversation, which is a tool for success.
This came about because the emotional intelligence that you have about the negotiation process is critical. I’m talking about that anxiety and fear that you feel when you think about, “I have to go in there and talk about this and have a conversation with my manager.” You feel that surge of anxiety or fear and you’re like, “I can never do that.”
I want to point out to you that if you tell yourself that you can or can’t, you’re always right. That’s a Henry Ford quote. If you’re constantly telling yourself, “There’s no possible way I can go in there and negotiate with my manager,” you’re not going to be able to do that. If you flip that around and reframe that thought and say, ” I can go in there and talk to my manager with preparation.” This is exactly what I’m talking about. If you invest time and prepare yourself, then it’s going to be an easy exercise. That anxiety is going to be dissipating as well as the fear.
Joie talks to us about what physical actions you can do to help you master those emotions, which again, is emotional intelligence. How do you master those emotions so that you are successful in regulating your body before you physically enter the negotiation conversation? That’s going to be like the kickoff episode for the series. I thought it was a perfect episode because I want to make sure that you are emotionally prepared for that conversation with your manager.
We’re also going to be talking to Alexandra Nicole Nolan. She is cool because she’s a brand influencer. She’s all over Instagram. She negotiates daily in her business. She is a mom of three, going to school to obtain her PhD, and also running a business. She is swamped. She’s incredibly busy. I admire her a lot because she already got her Master’s, and now, she’s working on her PhD. Her PhD is in Marketing. She’s learning a lot about how women are held back and the different biases in the corporate world. We talked a lot about how she negotiates in her business and how those same principles can be applied to your career.
That episode with Alexandra is going to be important because if you’re in the corporate world and maybe you’re thinking of leaving the corporate role to go start your own business, which has happened a lot lately for the course of the pandemic, then you can do this. That’s another key. You need to believe in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself, nobody is going to believe in you. That’s important.
You need to believe in yourself because if you don't believe in yourself, no one will. – Rosie Zilinskas Click To Tweet
The last one that I’m going to highlight is Elissa D. Hecker. She is an attorney. She’s going to talk about how women negotiate with themselves first before they even get to the conversation with their manager. You’re already discounting your value and worth before you even walk into the office to talk about your compensation. We want to avoid negotiating with ourselves first, talking ourselves out of X, Y, and Z.
For example, I talked to a woman. She is an entrepreneur, so she was trying to negotiate the rate of whatever she charged. In her head, she had one number, and when she was in front of the individual, she said a lower number. When she thought about it, she’s like, “I don’t even know why I did that.” Talking to another one of my guests, she said, “The reason why you did that is that you want to take care of the other person first. You want the other person to be comfortable. You want the other person to have an easy conversation.”
We hold ourselves back or give up some of what we want to make the other person comfortable which happens all the time because as women, a lot of us are perfectionists and people pleasers. That translates into holding ourselves back from what we want for our needs and our desires. Elissa is going to talk to us more about that aspect. Again, she’s an attorney so she’s constantly negotiating as well.
I have several other very accomplished women that will share their knowledge and their expertise about the actions that you can take during the negotiation process once you get there. A lot of good stuff and good episodes are going to be coming down the pike. I’m excited about this whole process. I want to encourage you to consider this process as an investment in yourself. If you are unwilling to take the time to learn this process and get good at it, again, you’re going to be holding yourself back and that’s not fair to you.
My entire brand is dedicated to helping women stop holding themselves back. It’s so important for you to recognize that it’s time for you to put your needs and desires first, whether it’s in your career or in your personal life. 2022 is now pretty much in our rearview mirror. We are now on the cusp of the beginning of 2023. This is an excellent time for you to begin honing your negotiating skills so that you can push yourself out of your comfort zone.
This is also a time that everybody starts talking about making sure that you write out your goals. If you don’t have written goals out, then pretty much it’s not something that’s going to happen. People that have written goals are much more successful in whatever endeavors they have or want to do than people without written goals. There are studies about that. It’s been proven. You can also start working on your goals.
People that have written goals are much more successful than those without written goals. – Rosie Zilinskas Click To Tweet
I wanted to go back and point out one episode that I wanted to highlight. This is not part of the negotiating series, but it was released on December 9th. This episode is with a TEDx speaker and her name is Kristen Ulmer. She is fantastic. She was named the Extreme Sports Women for several years. She’s done all kinds of skiing and extreme sports. She’s incredible from that perspective. Her TEDx talk is super cool because she’s at the top of a mountain. She’s amazing. She has a book that is called The Art of Fear.
The reason I bring this book up is that she talks about your emotions. She says it so eloquently, but she talks about your emotions and my emotions. Think of you as a parent and you have a bunch of children. Some of your children are named Joy, Love, Happiness, Comfort, and Warmth. That’s one group of your children that you’re always like loving on, accepting, hugging, and kissing. You then have a whole other set of children like Fear, Anxiety, Hate, Sadness, and a lot of other negative feelings like that.
You categorize them as good and bad children. Her concept is that you’re embracing all of your good children and all of your bad children, you’re going to put them into a basement, lock them up, and pretend that they’re not there. If the bad children are not seen and accepted, they themselves are going to start acting up, trying to make noise and be heard.
Her concept is that fear is one of those children that need attention and love. She says that you need to acknowledge all of those negative feelings including fear. Once you are able to embrace, acknowledge, and feel the fear, then that fear is going to dissipate and go away. Once that fear dissipates and goes away, then you can finally move forward and take action with whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
The reason I’m bringing this up is that when you think of negotiating as a fearful act that you’re going to take, you need to sit with that feeling. You need to acknowledge that feeling. You need to feel that feeling. Embrace it and let it be. That’s powerful because people are afraid of feeling. We’re afraid of trying to uncover all those skeletons in our psyche or soul.
I also interviewed Dr. Andrea Moore and she said that sometimes the emotions that you feel come out in your body as chronic pain. That’s because you’re not allowing yourself to heal from those emotions. Let’s say you’re in your early twenties, recently got married, life is good, happy with your husband, happy with your job, and everything’s going well, and then all of a sudden, you start feeling all this chronic pain and you don’t know what’s happening.
What Dr. Moore said is that you feel your psyche now feels safe. As you’re in a good place in your life and feel safe, now all of a sudden, all this trauma is ready to erupt so that you are able to heal it. Going back to that emotional intelligence, you need to take care of and acknowledge your emotions. By acknowledging the fear of negotiating, then you will be able to open up that avenue so that you can powerfully negotiate. That was a lot right there, but those are two fantastic episodes that you could read. Again, those are very recent episodes.
By acknowledging your fear of negotiating, you're opening up that avenue so you can powerfully negotiate. – Rosie Zilinskas Click To Tweet
What’s happening next? Over the next couple of weeks, we are going to be focusing on embracing negotiating as a tool in your toolbox. I’m 100% certain that you will find great value in this series. I am going to leave you with two actionable tips as I usually do with my guests. Tip number one, go to my website. My website is NoWomanLeftBehind.com and download the Conversation Starter Checklist. It’s free.
The reason why I want you to download this checklist is that this will give you some action items that you need to do when you’re ready to schedule your negotiation conversation. All the stuff that I’ve been talking about is all the work that you’re going to be doing for the actual conversation. The Conversation Starter Checklist will give you a before, during, and after checklist of what to do to get ready for that conversation.
Tip number two is that if you want to now work on your career but you’re stuck, send me an email. Email me at Rosie@NoWomanLeftBehind.com to schedule a complimentary 30-minute corporate kickstart consultation. A lot of people may not know where to start, what to do next, or even why they’re stuck. I can help guide you in the right direction so that you can kickstart the next step in your career.
I’m going to leave you with a bonus tip. The bonus tip is to make time to reflect on what you truly want in your career because if you don’t know what you want, you can’t negotiate and have a conversation about that. I can’t even help you figure out how to get to the next step if you don’t know what you want. As a side note to that, I as a career coach can help you continue to elevate yourself if you are in the type of job that you’re happy with. For example, if you’re an accountant and you want to get a senior accountant job, I can help you figure out how to get there.
One of my prior guests is Laurie Swanson. She is fantastic. If you’re an accountant, but maybe you want to be a payroll specialist, maybe in marketing, or something that you’re switching from a completely different discipline, she can help you figure out what you want to do or what’s your calling. Laurie and I have very different perspectives on career coaching. She will help you figure out what to do and I will help you figure out how to elevate once you know what to do.
That is your bonus tip to make sure that you take time to reflect on what you truly want in your career. I hope that you had a great holiday season. We are on the cusp of bringing in 2023. I wish you nothing but the best for you and your family. I do hope that you have a happy new year and a productive 2023. If you need any help, by all means, please contact me on my website or my email. With that, remember, be brave, be bold, and take action.
Rosie Zilinskas is the Executive Career Coach behind the “No Woman Left Behind” brand, which includes the “No Woman Left Behind” podcast, career-building services, mentoring support group, and consultancy. She is also the co-author of the bestselling book, “Voices of Truth.” She is deeply passionate about supporting women advancing on equal footing within the corporate world.
As a bilingual storyteller, Rosie provides education, empowerment, training, and tools to women in the heart of their corporate careers, helping them to recapture money left on the table and to eliminate the gender gap in the workplace. As the Executive Vice President at a Fortune 500 insurance company, Rosie witnessed hundreds of women operating at and being compensated at levels far below their potential and is committed to changing the future of work for women everywhere.
With over thirty years of corporate leadership experience to help support her clients, Rosie has geared her entire enterprise and core mission around elevating women’s self-confidence and capabilities, thereby elevating their potential. She believes that serving women this way serves society as a whole and raises a more empowered next generation.
